step down

its interesting to see how my tag board is being used by two different individuals of different rugby school communicating to one another. im fine with it. haha. (:

house camp was rather slack for the seniors with so many "breaks". i think it was more of catching up old times with each other. gg into someone's room and talk, gossip and laugh together. my room mate was mr caleb! haha. super funny. caleb always sleep very early and is always the first too. left for kiwi cup trg half way during the camp. travelling from nus to yck is very long. and im so not use to that. but good experience. on the whole, i see alot of potential in the 7th house council. further more, i believe they will do a much better job than the 6th. yep. (:

had a nice long chat with st. andrew's rugby head coach, mr alan wee. productive conversation i must say. haha.

oh yeah. i won 2days 1nite (including free breakfast) stay at sheraton towers (5 stars)! haha. ((:

things i need/want to do: (in order of priority)

1. study, study and study
2. win the return leg of the kiwi cup
3. my ice- cream treat! *ahem*
5. play combined schools and get both my zonal and national colours
6. get my operation done

PIMP2!

my new favourite number: 0139
wohoo! i just love it.

bored at liang sheng's place

the 1st week of holidays is almost coming to an end. n time seems to fly sooo fast. 3 more weeks to bt2 and boy.. i do need to get down to damn bloody serious mugging. not say i havent been down to do any work but jus that i think my pace is alittle too slow. need to speed up.

so yeah. we lost to raffles in the first leg of the kiwi cup, but tat does not mean we are out of the running. we will train even harder and come back stronger. 12 points down. second leg will be at our home ground and theres no more excuses not to perform. its time to regroup and refocus.

overnight at mr tee's place yesterday and i am still at his place now. haha. in the morning went for combined schools trg. as expected the turnout was bad. it really doesnt surprised me cos being in the team last yr, unfortunately, this is the players attitude towards combined schools trg. seriously i think there is a need for a change. but then again, u cant force players to come down cos their national schools season is over and their main priority now is, like everyone else, catch up with work they have missed out. nevertheless if u come to think of it, this pple still can find time to go out with their frens/gf/ girls/ etc.. or clubbing and all the non-productive things but not coming down for trg. i guess, like wat someone told me, everyone priorities have changed. and not everyone has the same passion for the sport.

this then comes to another change i have noticed since coming to jc. in sec school, every player is being driven by passion to play the game. they would sacrifice anything to just get down for trg and game. nothing would stop by their way. however, wen u come to jc, things start to change. players driving force is no longer on the passion but also other factor(s). i mean its perfectly fine as long as u can produce results. but then wen all their heart is being given to the other factors and no longer in the passion, u can see the change. they will lose interest in trg. attendance very inconsistent and all negative change. its up to the individual i guess to get this priority rite.

hm.. i thought of changing my blog skin. keep to something much simpler. haha.

pictures!

if u really think of it. winning the national rugby championships for club (div 1) doesnt feel the same as winning the national schools a div. its much more emotional.

finally more photos of the finals are coming in. good stuff.

thursday had a kiwi cup trg. not many came though. but the highlight of that day was having dinner with arthur, liang sheng and marcus. haha. we talked and talked from 6.30pm all the way to 10.00pm. time really flies when ur enjoying urself. haha.

on fri went for combined schools meeting at ccab. quite surprised to see the faces of the players selected for combined schools. heh.

sat went to watch super 14 finals at scc. the weather condition of the game was really bad. it was damn foggy. u cant even see ur line from one end to the other.

blacks fun touch was on sun. shen wei (our capt), akira, liang sheng, arthur and i played for Super Duper Saints. akira had to choose such a freaking wierd team name. nevertheless, wats more impt is that we had fun. we beat all the teams coming in 1st position cos the competiton was in a round robin format.

kiwi cup game is 2dae. Saints XV vs Raffles XV.

good life.

A Division National Schools Police Cup Champions 2006,

St Andrew's Junior College

one of the feelings i will remember for the rest of my life!

the suddenly change in lifestyle after season is over is very hard to adapt. for the past 3 months, they the only thing u did was train, train and train. u had always hope and bitched about how much free time u wish u had so that u can do things u like and need to do. and now wen the time have finally arrived, u wished those training days were back. u missed all the hard tackles, line breaks, drills, playing touch before trg, gg through fitness together and more important the great camaraderie.

28 boys doing all the shit together. getting into trouble together and helping each other out. gossiping before, during and after trg and also dinner! haha. i miss those days. we cabbed home cos we were damn tired. share our life stories with each other. being brothers at the same time giving our (5-cents-worth-of) advice. great stuff.

so now its back to the books and doing the things u dreamt of during ur campaign. what matters the most is knowing that the effort you had put in during that period paid off! (:

finals report

CLICK HERE to read the A Division Rugby Finals Report by Mr Yee Teck Peng, Old Boy of St. Andrew's.
Thanks Sir!

champions

CHAMPIONS!!!

it felt great to end off my last national schools tournament being the champs!

shall blog more about it very soon!

photos

The cinema that became an arcade outing...

wonderful friday and saturday

we had our last fitness (and mental) trg on friday. trg during public holiday is already a norm for us. we r used to it. and also enjoying it. yeps. the initial plan for us was to do track work. however, mr ho didnt know that there was a family day function by some outsiders. in addition, jus before trg was about to officially start, a thunderstorm came. therefore, we finally trained in the hall. fitness was more of a mental conditioning for us. did circuits and suicides for like super damn long. the only driving force that keeps u gg is the encouragements from your fellow mates and the hunger for that championships. after the pt, did a few team runs before jumping into the pool for our 2nd hydrosession. much better one.

after trg a few of us went to hav dinner at potong pasir before having a major talk cock session at macs. we talked so much about sooo many things that we didnt look after the time. by the time we saw the time it was already 9 plus.

this morning had to help coach the SAJS under- 12 boys. they had a friendly tournament organised by centarus. as they did not have enough manpower, mr tong asked me to come down n help. it was an enjoyable experience. coaching little kids how to play rugby. haha. wen u talk to them u can communicate with them too many technical terms if not they will give u the i know whats happening look but then dont understand a darn thing. the team that i coached won all our games. good performance. made little new frens too 2dae. all making plans to come sas already. thats really good. at the same time, the sajc touch rugby team was having their tournament there too. managed to get a glimpse or two wen they played.

afternoon was spent for my first love, rugby. we had trg at the home team academy, choa chu kang there. every players face looked very tired n fatigue. productive session though. got used to the ground too. 4 days to finals.

once trg ended wen it was already evening, most of the ruggers were too tired to do anything. alex, liang sheng, joel, jesse, khai nam and i had dinner at kfc near the mrt station there. initially we planned to catch a movie after we ate but then someone didnt feel like watching so we changed our plans. haha. we then wanted to jus chill n relax at the arcade and play that shooting game. BUT ended up playing para-para! its damn embarrassing lar! everyone looking at us n laughing. AND ALSO liang sheng is DAMN pro in para-para. he even has the thoughts of making it his new hobby! haha. just wen u think playing para-para is quite lame n mad, we later decided to take neoprints. haha. being first timers, we didnt know how to operate such sophisticated machine so we jus anyhow press. took about six shots and happily designed it. in the end, we ended up printing only ONE of the SIX we designed which took us ages. super idiotic lar. nevertheless, on the whole, it was something which i enjoyed today. taking a break from the things u always do n go for something really different.

SAINTS GO MARCHING TO THE FINALS!

FINALLY after 17 long years, sajc rugby team is gg to the finals! the jinx of our team always getting 3rd for the past decade and more is finally over. ((:

CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL MATCH REPORT BY MR YEE

now its time to get back to the drawing boards and focus on winning the finals. yes. history may have been made but its not over yet. i have faith in this team gg winning the championships.

this coming wed will be the last national schools competition i will be ever playing for the blue and white stripes. i promise you it will be the best game i ever play in my life sine sec 1 cos i know i will never have the chance again to play with the some players who i have grown up with since sec 1 and now are like brothers.

today, went to watch sajc soccer team played against tpjc. first half was rather dull n sa wasnt really playing their best. but everything changed in the 2nd half. sajc soccer team stepped up their play by a few levels n sajc outplayed n outsmarted their opposition to finished the game with 3 goals n not allowing their oppo to score. congrat soccer boys for making it to the semis!
a good well done. rest assured that the rugby team will be behind you guys and prays that u will do well for ur tournament.

it goes out for the rest of the sports teams too. good luck!

after the game, went out with some of the ruggers for dinner at the airport. talked so much rubbish n nonsense. having so much fun. (:

alrites. im off to bed. long day tmr. eventhough its a hol.

shooting

having a fellow saint shooting u in the back just pisses you off.. agree?
i feel like wanting to SMACK the fellow. but no. i shall not do such things.

2dae i met an irritating person. how do u want pple to respect you if u dont have any respect for them? wake up ur idea la!

more imptly, tmr is the semis against acjc. sa team looking well prepared. its all in god's hand. we will surely play the best game u can ever see.

ok im tired. i still need to go do some bloody work.

tired tired khairul hilmi

this whole week (actually for the past 3 weeks) have been very tiring. time flew so fast that i dont really fell that its actually 7th may.

firday was exhausting. supposed to go for an interview with the other students leaders of the school at 3pm but had to take my malay language block test. so last minute and i hate last minutes. in the end, the school made arrangements for me to take my paper earlier and then go for the interview. paper was rather easy. interview was interesting. haha. once done, quickly rushed down for trg. then arnd 6 plus had to quickly change up because my mum was coming down to see the CT. my ct did had anything bad to say about me other my work harder for my studies. he says he admired my courage and determination. haha. by the time we finished, it was almost 8pm n had to quickly rushed back for the rugby camp.

we had major varse to kick off our 2nd rugby camp, in prep for the semis, where he thought us how to use the "flame" in our body. found it very useful. the climax of the camp came soon after. i somehow had this feeling that we r gg to do it. mr tong asked us what we want to have in a team. we gave quite alot and had to choose four only. after voting, we came up with commitment, trust, forgiveness and teamwork. soon after, the coaches came out with a sentence for us to remember. then the hard part came, we had to be blind folded and smack through to sets of tackle bags where in between was your team mates to make sure u dont go out of the way. once we reach our coach, we opened our blindfold and had to say that sentence believing in what we say and coming right from the bottom of our hearts. it was never easy esp wen u hav so little time and great amount of pressure and tension. its worth pointing out that doing this activity has made alot of us having more sense of belonging to the team.

being the capt, had to start first. took me 4 tries to get through. took arnd 2 hrs by the time we end it was 12am. i FINALLY had the time to rest since 1pm. felt so tired. further more, had a game the following day.

played centarus on sat. starting 15 played very well. good stuff.

went home n quickly cleaned up myself before meeting arthur, sherwyn, jairus and louis.

nxt week is gg to be another long one...
my whole body is starting to fail me. ahhh.....

doing the things you love.

major varse n i were having talking that day about how wonderful life will be if we have actually pursue what we enjoy and love doing since young. that would make us really good in that area. but then how do we really know if we really so passionate bout it? we are humans. we can suddenlylose passion for one thing at the same time develop interest for another. whatever it is.. major varse and i thought that what is really impt is during that transition wen we change for the pursue our new interest, we have to fully let go of the other. u cant get the best of both worlds.

get on with life.

wed's trg was one of the most productive trg sessions. we had team runs... in the DARK. yeah. 25 boys running around the field in darkness with very little light coming from the lamp posts. good stuff. camp tmr!

life is very unpredictable. i guess mud sticks rite?
it never rains but it pours.

disgusting!

although we won srjc rugby today by 68 points to zero, sajc once again played their worst game ever. im not trying to discriminate srjc, i believe they played rather well. giving us good hits. sajc points mostly came from individual effort and not the team effort. every department went wrong again. that is the underlying problem that we still havent found yet? i want to solve it quick so that we can play well against acjc nxt wed.

is it me?
is it him? (not reffering to any player in specific)
is it the coaches? (i strongly doubt so)
or is it jus YOU?

today's game was just horrendous. thats all i can say once again.

family and trg

hav been spending most of my time during the weekend with my family. finally. (:

2dae's trg was damn tiring la. we trained from 0830am till 1200pm. n it was all field work. morning sun n afternoon sun feel totally different. my body i think is conditioned more for trg in the afternoon like after 4pm. so wen we trained today i feel rather tired n lethargic. feel so unfit.

further more, the trg intensity was rather high. esp during team runs. finishing just wasnt there n we kept doing it over n over again till we perfected it. tempers flew arnd. but its good that all this happen during trg. at least we can correct it now rather then making such stupid mistakes in the game. imagine urself at 1130am, when the sun it like almost directly above ur heads. no clouds to cover u. u can feel urself so hot. even the mud on ur skin had dried up. yucks. n to make matters worse... ur team just couldnt finish the move. n you kept doing it over n over n over again. thats wat happened today. nevertheless, today's trg session was very productive. AND yes. sajc rugby team do train on public holidays too.

after that went for lunch with ruggers where we had a good talking cock session before gg home.

tmr will be playing against srjc @ srjc, 4.45pm. its our last group stage games before the semis next wednesday against acjc.

to my ruggers:
You can be anything u want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish- if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.

my spendings

went out with parents on sunday to do some shopping. i found two other new love. not bags but watches and choclates. heh. today bought a new swatch watch for $220, choclates which adds up to $60, new belt for $30 and wallet for $67. this does not include wat i bought on sat. come to think of it... i think i freaking spent alot of month in april alone. if im gg to type it out. i think everyone will start cursing. at least im having a gd time (: another gd thing about being a single.. u got everything for urself ((:

shopping can really drown one's sorrows and troubles. but this painkiller only works for awhile. n once it wears off. ur sure to get more pain wen u check ur pockets too. heh.

hope will spend less in may.

ok.. im off. need to get some rest cos trg is later at 8am! haha!!!

scrum-half

taken from mr tong's email:

Scrumhalves are cocky. They are the undersized streetfighters of the rugby world. They bounce about, india-rubber men, giving lip to everybody, obeyed and protected by their eight-man bodyguard. And many teams will pick their scrumhalf first. They make excellent referees.

hahahaha!

stalemate.

its a stalemate. ohwell. thats life.

trg 2dae ended at 9pm! we had a video session followed by circuits and finishing off with a mental conditioning. during mental conditioning, we had this carwash session which is extremely useful. further more, i think its about time we had one of this sessions. during carwash, everyone had to pass thier HONEST opinion bout the person infront of them and vice versa. we had to be very frank and accept watever critics your team mate has to say with a pinch of salt. well. thats the only way for a team to get better and players understanding each other more.

while arthur, khai nam and i were gg home. we walked past a rally by SDA's Chiam See Tong. i find the ending part of the rally rather interesting and funny. haha. everyone was like cheering n screaming for him. haha. better not blog too much about elections if not later get into trouble. ha.

tomorrow will be my free saturday where i got nothing to do. finally after 2.5 months. (:

a div pics.

councillors leading in cheering

great supporters!

team talk

defence line opens up

inside ball off me to arthur

trying my luck for extra 10 which i got.

facts about me

here are some facts about myself. was doing quite a few tests. so here are the results. i randomly jus cut n paste.

- Personality tpye: the perfectionist

- Ones need to be right, beyond reproach. An inner critic continually checks for possible faults. They continually try to do what is right, and likewise expect others to do the same. They become cranky when either they or others fail to measure up.

- One's greatest fear is that they might be condemned for failure to adhere to their principles or ideals, whether lofty or trivial. Along with this urge comes a vigilance and an attention to detail.

- Ones need to be right, beyond reproach. An inner critic continually checks for possible faults. They continually try to do what is right, and likewise expect others to do the same. They become cranky when either they or others fail to measure up.

- They are perfectionists and expect others to live up to their exacting standards. (flaw)

- . As managers they are prone to over-controlling subordinates out of an attempt to "get it right" on their terms. (flaw)

- have learned to be tolerant of themselves, and, consequently, tolerant of others. They have transcended petty fault-finding in themselves and others.

- Personality Profile type: Self-Sacrificing

- To live is to serve, to live is to give, their needs wait until others' needs are met.

- Self-Sacrificing people are always considerate in their dealings with others. They are ethical, hones, and trustworthy.

- They are long-suffering. They prefer to shoulder their own burdens in life. They have much patience and a high tolerance for discomfort.

- Self-Sacrificing individuals are rather naive and innocent. They are unaware of the often deep impact they make on other people's lives, and theytend never to suspect deviousness or underhanded motive in the people whom the give so much of themselves.

true or not. i dont know.

i love my parents.

i LOVE my parents! they are super supportive. for the situtation im in, i believe every parent would say a NO immediately and wont even listen to what you go to say. but my parents are different! they sat down n listen to what i got to say. they understand the importance and the need for me to play. they know the consequences and complications that might happen. n yet they give the green light to play and will support whatever decision i make. its really gives u a very peaceful mind wen ur in the field playing with ur parents' blessings. they have given me the extra strength i needed.

alot of pple believe im mad n stupid. making a rash decision. but wait till u hav been training for something since last june playing for combined schools and club so that u can play well for this last national schools season. quickly recovering from an op so that u wont be missing this season. n sacrificing alot of impt things since last june. it has been integrated in ur life.

todays game against jjc was an okay performance. nothing impressive or bad. need to work on the finishings. jjc played very tight today. running off the base of the rucks. n yeah. first team that can actually counter and drive back our mauls. sa had good phase plays. communication still have alot to work on and miss tackles. one major mistake sajc team made was tackling too high. can be worked on. one thing sajc team shd learn frm jjc is the fighting spirit they had. even though they may be down they still kept fighting till the final whistle. take my cap off to them.

its a time for reflection.

worrying

Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.

-- Mary Hemingway

follow ur heart.

season

rugby season has started. didnt kicked off the season on a high. theres much more work to be done. passes, moves, kicks and attitude. pjc was nothing but one of the worst game i ever played in my rugby career. never have i played before such mess and lousy decision-making. poor lines of run. n lousy attitude. but whats done is done and things will only get better.

lost to rjc yesterday. a game which i truly believe saints could have won. couldnt really settle down in the first half which allowed rjc to take the lead. fought back well in the second half. the fighting spirit of the team esp in the last few minutes of the game was awsome. that hunger to win. the drive to keep gg. the motivation from one another and the crowd. the aggression. the tenacity. the focus. the love. although we lost, i know that we have really done a good job. keep up this good work boys and i promise you, we will go a long way. also, the atmosphere was great. couldnt feel my knees after the game.

just for the record, sajc rugby team had never scored a try against rjc or acjc in 15-a-side rugby since 2001. (: something to be proud off.

remember the 3 fundamental things to win a game (to team sajc):
1. Discipline
2. Communication
3. Focus
if you have these, your team will go far.

havent really been catching up with school work. tmr i plan to do some catching up. i hope.

since the intensity of trg has increased and house comm elections gg on (plus studies i try to catch up), i had almost no time for myself and my frens. things have only been revolving around these 3 (if not 2) things. need to go find time to spend with my frens. sometimes, i think im lucky to have understanding frens. but how understanding can one be if they always make sacrifices for you but u do nothing in return. lousy friend rite?

we finally talked to each other. (:

hate it

starting to dislike what i always do and where i always go.

hate it.

argh. no mood. bye.

my fault

i admit what happened was my fault. i will take full responsbility of it. i didnt want to cos any harm. but i guess i did. me- the useless fellow. im sorry.

i really want to jus dissapear.

shit friends

oh yeah. i forgot to say that im such a
lousy, freaking useless, good-for-nothing, hopeless, problematic friend.

FAILURE

im such a fucking failure.

why?
1. pressure is building up and im at a stage where i cant handle it anymore. (what a loser.)
2. issues with people.
3. fucked up "high- profile" life.
4. releasing my anger at the wrong people, place and time.
5. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN.
6. dont know what the fuck im doing.
7. LOUSY leader.
8. cant focus.
9. cant balance.
10. allowing my body to burn out eventhough i know how harmful the effects are.
11. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. PAIN. = NUMB!
12. at the verge of not giving a damn shit about anything and everything.

whats happening? i dont know.

waste of time

Everything to me seems to be a waste of time nowdays. Somethings which I used to enjoy now jus add on to the stress and pressure. sucks. People who I used to be close with are drifting further and further apart. i guess EVERYTHING is my fault. used already to be the one taking all the blames.
i cant do much if i cant even get my own life proper.

me, myself n I.

what is right?

i've made a decision. some pple think im stupid and immature. some pple think otherwise. whatever it is i will stick by it and no one else is gg to stop me. im prepared to take all the riska there are eventhough i know it can/will affect my future all for my team, my school and my passion. its not that im a true blue saint or anything. but one thing for sure i will not let the pple arnd me down. i will not sit by the sidelines to watch my team battle but to fight together with team. isnt that wat team spirit is all about? we being there for each other through thick and thin?

life is all about taking risks. if one never tries, he will never know what the results will... be it in his favour or not. when things get tough n hard, i need to be strong n keep fighting for what i believe in.

if anything is gg to happen to me so be it. at least i knew i have tried my best. deep in my heart im happy eventhough the needle piercing pain is on me. im ready. im prepared. n i will live life with no regrets cos i know that this is something that i've wanted to do.


all i need is the support from God, family, friends and most importantly sajc rugby team.

get well soon

Get Well Soon Kumar!

Every great work, every great accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.

rugby camp

rugby camp was both physically n mentally challenging. it had really test our mind n body beyond its limit. but now i feel accompolished that i have survived this camp.

the camp started off with field trg. we had a friendly game with the B division boys who are preparing for their semis this coming monday against SJI. had a good run. after that, was the start of the torture time. the ruggers had to go to the gallery. there, we did like 300 plus kind of different exercises. for me, since i couldnt do excercises involving the wrist, i had a total abs workout with the help of gym master, suhaimi. haha. he made me do all kinds of abs exercises la. goodness. after tat worked on the hammies n knees. everywhere single body parts started hurting. it hurt soo much that after 3/4 through the torture time, my whole legs (both sides) were numb n at one time i really cant even support myself. i totally went beyond my limits. but i strongly believe tats is the main reason why we are doing all these in the first place- to test our mind n body. glory is nothing without pain.

after taking ages to shower, we had our dinner followed by a video session in the ava. watched the cjc game which was rather pathetic. but we have surely learnt alot from it. its time to put all this into action. theres no use watching n practising a move or game plan, but not being able to excute it in the game or wen the pressure sets in. then watched a small part of the all blacks game against british lions before ending off the night with a movie. very inspiring. we checked in into saint andrew's hotel n were given 3 rooms. next block neighbour was the sports club also having their camp.. at 3am while everyone was like asleep or still trying to sleep, our neighbours conducted a some drill session which woke me up n gave me problems trying to sleep for the rest of the night. argh.

by 7am, we were at the tracks doing moring pt. we did 4 sets of 800m. where everyone has to come in before 4 min. i managed to meet the timings. but those who didnt had to come forward to do another extra 3 sets of 400m. decided to run with them again. cos after all, a team is only as strong as its weakest link. further more, i already like couldnt feel my legs wen i started running. haha. after that, had breakfast n trg. after lunch we had physio talk before breaking off from the camp- something which i looked forward to.

Good Luck Team Sajc!

post exam

i need a break.

didnt had the break i needed after block test 1 cos i was still caught up with lots of things. mon had physics spa. went rather alrite i guess. after tat we had trg. it has been quite a while since we trained. n season is like SUPER close. we did fitness.. something which i tink the team really needs. damn tiring. i basically couldnt really hyperextent my wrist. so had to subsitute the exercises involving wrists to some others where it involves other body parts. did unit skills later followed by team- run. will be playing against cjc tmr at 5.3pm in the yuckie field behind the c block.

2dae had prize presentation for the scc 7s squad. one part of me felt proud of myself while the part of me was dissapointed. one thing for sure i know was tat we could have done much better during the tournament. i do agree tat having gone to the cup finals after like 15 yrs is an achievement. but what really is an achievement wen u know you could have been better? wen u know u have much more potential. yes it hurts. but its a lesson learnt. remember this feeling n make sure it doesnt happen again.

went with ls ltr to get his boots. nice boots. saw Gilbert (saint's legendary kicker) at popular bookstore with ls.

while gg back home a thought came to my tired mind. i was thinking why i am still playing rugby even though i have been through two major injuries in a row. its not a fun thing for sure. n its not something which you think you can enjoy and slack. bullshit. having injuries only means u sit there n watch pple train, wen u come back.. you better get back in shape quick n ure expected to perform like u did before u got injured or if not better. there is not much time left as everyone knows season is fast approaching. the only thing that keeps me going telling me carry on b be strong is the strong passion i have for the sport and the school. more importantly, i need this game to help for my future. its really important. it doesnt matter if i have to be "wrapped up" jus to train or play. i will do it. people arnd me keep telling me the repercussions that i will be having when i grow old. I KNOW! it would really be nice if you guys can stop reminding me about that.

all i want now is to make the best out of this season since its gg to be the last (hopefully) national schools competition that i will be representing st. andrew's. wearing that tradition blue and white stripes.

future

went shopping with parents today. got a new pair of boots, knee guard, shirts, pants and i cant remember wat else. haha. good day. tmr is physics spa. n trg is gg to resume. gg back full on. wohoo!

with the departure of technial director, matt ryan, the fate and future of singapore rugby union remains even more uncertain. ohwell. thanks to one idiot who ran away with the money, everyone else has to suffer. i think that the worse thing any human can do.

bull

sometimes i really think whether have i really made the right decision so far in life being where i am now. is a dream n ambition the same? ohwell.

you know i really believe that this world is full of pple who makes so much noise and comments and never show it in action. a typical NATO (No Action, Talk Only). they go around making smart comments jus because they may have the experience and money or wat so ever that makes them better than those they comment on. like hello! dont you know whatever smart ass comments you make can affect that person? n how does it bloody feels if you are working ur ass off and really working hard wen someone who does no shit comes up out of nowhere n make a comment on you jus because you make a mistake n such comments really hurt. to make matters worse they can be one of your own pple. sickening? yes.

these pple have already done nothing and wen u do smth good... they will happily take all the credits like its theirs n tat they were a Major contributing factor. wen you dont... they will try to disown you n make u feel like a damn loser. bloody irritating n sick. hah. n the best part is wen u need their help, they close their doors n make excuses. yeah.

miracously, i dont wat made me still make that decision eventhough there were many other options. hah. too late to cry over it or anything. but one thing for sure.. i will make the best out of
it. trust me if you pple are gg to open that shit ass again i will do smth nasty. hah.

tis entry is not bcos i noticed it happen to others but myself. n i dont want to say who. dont bother trying to guess either.

other than that, im cool n happy! =)
wont be pissed jus bcos of shit mouths!

SAJC SCC 7s SQUAD 2006

Hose House Committee!

major reconstruction

it has been ages since i actually blogged. was on semi-haitus as my life went through some reconstruction.

had school scc 7s a few weekends ago. though we didnt win the competition, which i knew we could, we still broke a record for sajc as the last time sajc ever went to the finals was 1991 n thats like 15 long years. rugby season is fast approaching and we really need to get down to serious buisness now. having camp nxt fri n sat.

block test sucks. shall make no further comment.

shall blog more next time.

loss of hope

dear God,
i really need u now.

update!

farewell

Farewell Mr Wayne Williams. May you rest in Peace. It has been an honour playing together with you for the season.

What would you do when you need to make a decision that:
1. both has heavy negative consequences
2. both are equally important
3. you have already tried balancing n doing both but u just cant do it
4. you need to really choose one
5. you need to make it quick or u will lose both.

I really don't know. ohwell.

coming soon.

im being to have this habit to update my blog once a week at most. cant really find time to blog.
so this week has been rather interesting.

being asked to go for the photoshoot was damn embarrassing. the principal having to call out ur name during morning assembly asking you to see her immediately after morning assembly is damn scary. to make matters more interesting, the tchers all got an email that i was going for it. i mean that is really damn malu. n nowdays if u notice some teachers already give u that stare.

the photoshoot was on thurs. didnt go sch. the building looks like some god-knows ulu warehouse. but inside the company's office was cool. they had so many photo studious. wat was much more cool was that there was actually a pool table in the lounge. all of us that were they were like wow! played for a while with the rest of the pple. drink were free flow. jus go to the fridge and take.

one thing for sure is i dont think being a model is fun. its really tiring and boring. setting up the crops take sooo much time. then they put make up on ur face. i really look damn gay la n someone will agree with me rite? never in my life have i ever used those facial powder and lipstick until thursday. haha. then comes the photo taking part.

had to take 3 different positions for the photos. photos are taken to perfection. in other words, i have to pose there while they take a few photos. then all will rush to the computer to see how the pic is while i stone in that position. if they like it i can stop. if not we taking photos until they get one they like. to get one photo it took damn long la. esp the one where i had to jump n they take me in the air. that is damn bloody tiring. somehow its also rather scary bcos the last time i jumped that high and landed was during the rsn 10s where my leg ended up in a depression causing me to tear my meniscus and go for op. so yeah. mental barrier. haha.

nevertheless, overall it was one super fun experience. something which i will never forget n lucky to get. =)

end of the week

yesterday had house comm cip. it has somehow made an impact to me. not too sure about others though. n yes. finally had a melay-unit dinner that evening. had a good time.

today cleaned my room. i finally decided to get my lazy ass to work. decided that before i start my official revision for block test 1 which starts tmr, i shd start cleaning my room first so that i can have the mood to mug. haha. spent the whole afternoon doing it.

ok.. im off to plan for induction!

brothers

o levels results were out. most of my junior ruggers didnt make it to the jc. it is really very sad that after we play for about 4 years together, we can no longer play side by side using the blue and white stripes.. but life goes on. we need 2 b strong. we go our separate ways. the bond that had been formed can never be broken or taken away from anyone else bcos we have been through thick and thin together. we won, lost, fight, bleed, discloate and smile together as one. it especially hurts even more for me as ur ex-capt who have not only seen but grown together with you since you were sec 1. from us being trashed and smacked 56-0 in 2002 to winning the tittle 10-7 in 2004. training were never easy and we pushed each other and work together.

this journey that we have been through together will always be remembered for the rest of my life and it the best. at times we may challenged by obsctales we find its almost impossible to overcome but we did. i dare proudly say we are brothers. for those that make it, welcome aboard. for those that didnt, you have created such a positive impact to the team while u guys were here for these few weeks. something which i thank you from the bottom of my hearts. even though we may not wear that sajc jerseys together i hope to get to play along with you guys soon. hopefully through our clubs and old boys game. take care boys.

here is the quote that was read to us before our finals and every single word means alot of to us:
"We would not die in the man's company,
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered,
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me,
Shall be my brother."
-Shakespeare's Henry V, Act 4, Scene 3

all the best brothers.

hard to find time to update blog. sch work is piling up like nobody's buisness. n gg for physio so that can recover and start training as soon as possible. this week starting jogging already, thus can slowly start working on my fitness. will blog more soon. now no mood.

life goes on

no matter what happens. life goes on. we need to be strong.

cny blast

Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese frens! =)

tis morning didnt start off rather well. tried to sleep over it yesterday night but somehow not all went away. was rather moody and stuff.

everything changed for the better in the afternoon when my mother asked me to go for a family picnic. all my mother's side. intially i didnt want to go bcos of my knee and mood. but after they negotiated n stuff. felt rather bad n just follow. first stop was having lunch at east coast park. granny had cooked some food. so we went there and eat. when my cousins all went around to take pictures i decided to jus sit still and read my newsweek and book. haha. still reading the book which i just bought- "mind games" a book on mental strength for sportsmen.

when we got bored of the place, we decided to go to sentosa. the place where my uncle work. upon arrival, parking was nothing to be worried about cos we parked at his workplace and kind of made his office our headquarters. thus, the rain tat afternoon didnt effect us.

since im injured and cant swim while all my cousins were busy playing with sand n water. i found the best thing to do in sentosa. its something tat not everyone can do, in fact very little pple can do. its not playing at the beach. its not gg for a swim. its not the carlsberg sky tower nor the new luge attraction...

its driving a buggy (by myself!!!) around the sentosa beach. i drove from one end to the other end of sentosa. haha. at first it was damn scary cos the beach (from one end to the other) was soo packed with pple. and i had never drove a buggy before. after a few quick lesson from my uncle and practise rounds at his work area, i was ready for the real thing! haha. so i went out to the main beach roads and drive. we drove beside a car on the main road. i drove past pple. n even the traffic police. tat adreline rush in my body, kept me gg from back and forth. until finally my uncle was tired already. so i had to drive him back. then did alittle washing of the buggy before driving my cousins around. i believe this is the best sentosa exprience i ever had. while driving, was so bad to go horn at pple. haha. im looking forward to gg back to sentosa cos my uncle said anytime wen im there, jus giv him a buzz and he can either drive me arnd or i drive myself! wohoo!

was reading the mind games book and find one of my greatest fault. the book explained the reason for being so. i hope its a good explanation.

"... Something else has to drive a person on- their personal sense of pride and satisfaction. This is why many performers can come across as selfish- because they know what they want to do, why they are doing it and they are not going to deviate or be distracted from that..."

"For some athletes, hurting those they are close to is part of the preparation for competition."

"... It may be that top champions need such dedication and focus on achieving their goals that they simply appear selfish."

"...Not only does the sports person have to 'put themselves out' to make it to the top, so pple around them have to make necessary sacrifices too. Friends and family have to be generous enough to accept that they cant expect to come first in the athlete's priorities..."

will blog bout this soon.

cny celeb

cny celebrations is finally over. one of the last, if not the last, event being organised by the house council. in a way, im happy. can finally put more time in my studies and doing things i always wanted to do. plus i still have a few week's off from sch trg.

this week is like super stressful. had to plan for cny at the same time do a mascot for cross-country. was damn surprised when hose won the mascot competition. totally unexpected. but who cares. we won. haha.

scc rugby webby had the dinner report.

The "Rookie of the Year" award went to the "find" of the season - Khairul Hilmi, who despite not drinking has shown so much pace this season that it has left us all thinking we are drinking way too much.

taken from http://www.sccrugby.com/News.asp#article1

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary,
When troubles come and my heart burdened be,
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

no more crutches

BYE BYE Crutches!!!! hope i wont get to use you anymore. dont look forward to be with you either. hah. i shall walk by MYSELF!

okay. its super late and im damn tired. shall blog about my first comeback (to sch that is) soon. haha.

og time

i finally went out of my house 2dae after being home since thursday. the last i remember being home was my last operation. and tat was like 1 week in hospital. and 1 week at home. at least now not that bad. so anyway, i went out 2dae to the coffeeshop for breakfast. was so excited to get into the lift. but wen i reached the coffeeshop felt like gg home. the excitment became too tiring for me. having to travel everywhere is crutches sure needs alot of energy. good workout for the arms. hah. then, pple also give u the "aiyo.. what happened to this boy look".. "so young already like that". quite malu to see senior citizens walking healthly beside me. nvm. soon i will get rid of the crutches.

afternoon was spent for sleeping. knee hurts quite badly. woke up arnd 4pm. shortly after afew og 35 pple came over for a mini gathering. as expected not all are able to make it. but with the pple present it was enough to have a good time. talked cock and eat. watched the spiderman 2 movie on hbo. i had a good time!

tmr im finally gg back to sch. somehow got this mixed feeling of wanting and not wanting to go sch. i want to go sch bcos i miss sch- as in my frens and tchers. but i dont wanna go sch bcos of the of the HUGE workload that is jus waiting to skin me alive. plus travelling around with crutches wont be fun either after today's short experience. i also need to get back the mugging mode (or rather need to start having it) cos this is like the most important year. its either u make it or break it. hah. at least something to look forward and help me achieve that mugging mode is my study kakis. thanks pple.

tmr also going to see the sch physio. want to go for intesive physiotheraphy so that can recover in time and quickly go back trg and kicking arses. alot of pple cant see the full picture. nvm.

"Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible."- Frank Gaines

off

being home since thursday and doing nothing at all really sucks. hm.. somehow it seems wierd. wen i was so bz with sch n rugby i always wanted to have time to jus stay at home do nothing and stone. watch tv. laptop infront of me. sleep in the afternoon. acting like im not worried about anything. and then wen the time comes. LIKE NOW. u just wish u had ur hectic life back. mabye its just me about not being happy with wat i have. spoilt brat.

this year has not been any good yet for me. everything has been rather off recently too. so much for trying to be optimistic and looking things at a bright side. i feel i have been rather off frequency with quite alot of my friends and i think its all my fault. i take tat blame. some noticed it some dont. to all who are affected sorry.

hospital life

im finally back. not from holiday but from hospital. i missed hell alot of sch work n seriously need to do LOTS of catch up. i have not been in school since monday and will only be back next week.

i went too see doc on sunday to take xray. n it was good that nothing happened to the bones. since my knee was swelling it had to be a muscle(S). n only MRI can actually say wat happened to my knee. n it can only be done on monday cos the MRI centre in Mount Alvernia was closed on Sunday.

on mon, went for MRI in the morning. report came back in the afternoon. was immediately sent to a specialist. according to the report, i tore my medial meniscus quite badly. doc also said that i might also had torn my ACL though the MRI scan shows that my ACL is actually fine but its always 10-15% not accurate. the doc then asked me wen do i want to have my knee done. i replied asap. and he replied THIS EVENING! i was like.. wah.. tis one really fast la. one thing that really scare me to death was that the doc said that my middle meniscus will take 6 wks to recover but during the op if he sees that the ACL is damage and it needs reconstruction, he will reconstruct it on the spot and that means i will be out for 6 months. i was really scared that i might miss this rugby season. the last rugby school season of my life. before my op, melays, huilin n ena came by.

after the op, the first thing wen i woke up was to ask pple arnd me what happened to my knee in particular ACL. the nurses were like... mr khairul you will have to wait till the doctor comes by later and tell u k. being all sedated n stuff i didnt have enough energy to purse in the matter. i just went back to my stoning position. once back in my room, started puking like mad. puke here n there. phil, javier n eugene came by after my op. sorry i all sedated and puking everywhere. doc then came n told me the good news that there was nothing wrong with my ACL and my middle meniscus is "repaired". so this means im 6 weeks out.

tue and wed didnt really do anything much but stone and what really touched me was my friends who visited me. thanks guys u pple really brought that smile. for others u cant make it, thanks for ur SMSes! without u pple, i think i would have just died of boredom there.

here is a thank you from me to all those that came: (i will try my best to remember all those that came)

1. kumar
2. anand
3. keane
4. prash
5. huilin
6. ena
7. jonathan leow
8. romano
9. phil
10. javier
11. eugene
12. nic
13. weiyun
14. weiyann seetoh
15. qian hui
16. louis
17. ashraf
18. suhaimi
19. alex
20. porky
21. gerald
22. zong
23. tiff
24. malcolm
25. herng liang
26. joel
27. gen
28. van kang
29. veron
30. liang sheng
31. weiyan chen
32. caleb
33. kelly
34. stef
35. arthur
36. mr louis ho
37. yew wei

thank you

i wanna thank the following people for supporting the team yesterday in the finals:
1. Mr Ong!!
2. arthur
3. porky
4. touch ruggers!

your support was something we needed esp during that finals! once again a big Thank You!

does glory comes with pain?

good news is that sajc defended the RSN 10s and we are, for the 2nd year running Cup Champions. However, winning this year wasnt as easy as last year. both in semis and finals we went into sudden death. won ite by a golden try and rjc in the finals by penalty conversion. this is the 2nd time we won rjc by penalty conversions. the last time was the national schools 10s.

just wen u think this year was going to be a good year for you, something happened. at the last minute, last second of the finals sudden death, alex broke through, he then gave a pass which was high and i couldnt catch. i jumped. but wen was landing, couldnt see a depression. so my left knee went into it. n yeah.

went to mt alvernia 2dae. took xray but theres nothing wrong with my bones. n so thats something good. gg for MRI tomorrow. i hope the worst wont happen but im preparing myself for it. i hope and pray its nothing serious.

on the whole, it has been a stressful week. catching up with studies, house council and rugby all in one. plus being sick and still trying to recover.

wtf

2dae sucked. screwed up.

I HATE FROGS!!! YUCKS!

rookie

SCC Rugby Dinner was fantastic. i really had an enjoyable time there. meeting up with the players whom u last saw them months ago. we all got down together n talked all night long. at times u felt as though something was amiss. but tats life. dinner was sumptous.

the best part of my life came without me even knowing it. they were giving away awards during for oustanding performances during the seaso and i was awarded the rookie of the year!!! i was surprised to get that award. i didnt expect to get it cos i thought there were more first- year players who were better then me. besides, im still young and there's a long way to go for me.

this award just meant that my achievements and contributions have been acknowledge. i shd not get my head too big and think that im good. its only means that i have to increase the expectations of playing and pple too expect more from me. i need to train harder to meet tat standard. this is just the begining and not the end...

is this feeling a blessing or a curse? hah.

My award.

first week of sch

first week of school was already stressful. had lots of things to do. but it was fun.
one of the most funniest thing that happened this week was the time my classmate n i got lost... with our malay teacher! it was during malay lesson that red n i didnt know where the class was. "luckily" we found our malay tcher gg to class. so we then decided to follow her la. BUT she oso actually dont know. she brought us around school la. in the end reached class 15 mins late! hahaha.

looking at my schedule.. gg 2 b super bz this whole month.. oh well.
im sick!

friends are something everyone needs to treasure n protect.

new year. a new begining!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2005 is finally over! Though the year hasnt been a very smooth sailing one for me, there are still good memories and lesson to bring for next year.

Had a pleasant new year's eve yesterday. 4SE class reunion was fantastic. met up with the whole gang for lunch at seoul's garden. haha. sooooo long nv seen them n it really brings back old wonderful memories. we basically talked bout everything from sec sch life to jc and poly life. most of them still look the same. i didnt eat much at all cos i was bz talking cock. haha. Sorry boys, i had to leave very early!!! I promised I will stay longer nxt yr k!

After that went to Malcolm's place for countdown. Though its kind of plain n simple.. thats wat I like about countdown and welcoming the new year. I dont like being in crowded place and having too much noise. Didnt quite went the place i wanted to go but Mal's house was wonderful! Had a great time there and just before new year, i did something which i hope its right. I hope.

Compression Top

Skins BioAcceleration Technology has been developed over years of scientific research. Ongoing testing of elite athletes have proven that Skins BioAcceleration Technology creates marked improvements in reducing the build-up of lactic acid immediately after periods of sustained exercise (2hrs and 15 mins up to 37% ), and allows for more rapid return to normal levels (up to 38% at 20 minutes). You experience less fatigue, minimise soreness and recover faster.

Skins are body moulded compression garments manufactured from the finest Lycra and Meryl Microfibre, scientifically engineered to provide support and muscle alignment to the garment covered area of your body. Skins will definitely change the way that you train and play as well as speed your recovery. You will feel fresher after heavy bouts of exercise and delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) will be minimised.

Taken from here (click me).

i got it. wohoo! LS go get one too k!

mission

Operation Unite!
its time to activate the boys.

dreams and desires.

winning isn't something that happens suddenly on the field when the whistle blows and the crowds roar. Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream

end of the year is coming!

i somehow don quite like the design of the new school. but i guess i will jus have to survive in there. it will take time for me to settle in.

played soccer with kumar n all. had a gd time eventhough i didnt know most of them. the opposition. no comments on them.

ah.. got lots to say but no mood. another time then.

Tasmania- Heaven!

Cradle Moutains. I love the scenery there.

Devil's Kitchen at Port Arthur.

Waterfall.

My family actually walk around the whole lake. I think it is called Cradle Lake.

MY FAMILY! Without them i am nothing.
Left to right: Cousin, Sis, Mum, Bro, Dad n Me

Discover Tasmania!

Holiday to Tasmania was GREAT! The best part of the tour was not only going arnd visiting the places of interest but to actually spend time together as a family. My family memebers have been very busy. Parents having work and siblings school. As for myself there is nothing much to explain as u all know by now. But we gave time off from work and personal things to spend time as one Happy Family.

Tasmania.. very nice place.. its a place more for appreciating nature and God's wonder rather then shopping. haha. We had to stop over Melbourne before finally reaching Hobart around 10 plus. First day, didnt do anything much. We stayed over at a nice house. One thing hit me wen i was there. I finally faced the fact that i wont be eating any chicken or beef there cos there is no halal butcher. So it will be seafood!

The problem about the weather in Tasmania is that it is unpredictable. The temperature can be so cold but the sun rays is jus piercing through ur skin. the UV reading was around 11 and thats very bad. N the rain... it can be so sunny one minute and the next, it starts pouring. haha. The weather on whole, i got to say is good. Its neither too cold nor hot. Perfect.

I went for a Ghost Tour.. believe it or not.. haha. it was like super freaky la. it scared the shit out of me! One not nice thing to see is the dead bodies of animals by the expressway or highway. You can acutally see the body of the animal (wombats, rat and kangaroos basically) squashed. Their body parts are also everywhere. Its really horrible to see. Yucks!

One things which Singaporeans shd learn from our Aussies counterparts is to be more friendly! People there always smile and greet each other. Be it if they know them or not. Its really good to see such behaviour.

home sweet home!!

im back!! the trip was memorable. something i will never forget for the rest of my life. came back yesterday night. jet lag. arhhh..
shall blog more bout it later. im off for chicken and beef! wohoo! haha.
this is gg 2 b a little late.. anyways,

Merry Christmas!
and Happy Boxing Day!

im leaving on a jet plane

YES! Finally i have finished packing my bag. ok well, almost except for some other stuffs.

its already almost 2am in the morning n i havent sleep. leaving this evening! very excited. will be gg Tasmania, Australia. WOHOOO! lalalalalalalala.

jus for pple who wants to find me, im sorry i will be away from 13th Dec to 25th Dec. If you really need 2 reach me, jus give me a buzz. This means i wont b online from the above dates too unless i can get hold of a comp with internet access. Till then, take care everyone! =)

never easy

everything comes with a price. be it painful or not.

sometimes, u just kind of lost the passion,the drive, that was always with you. something that has made u wat u are 2dae. u need it back asap but where issit??? come back pls.

be strong. stay strong.

game

2dae decided to stay at home all day. didnt feel like doing anything actually. wanted to rest!

yesterday played with our thai frens, Vajiravudh College. all of them looked rather fast n Compact! game went well. arthur is damn angry with me bcos i coped his try. but its just the natural scrum-half instinct la. but he will never believe me! haha!

tmr will be, i think, my last game im gg 2 play for 2005! yuppers!

welcome Vajiravudh!

our Thai frens from Vajiravudh College paid us a visit this week. i had the job of welcoming them from the airport myself cos all the coaches were busy. my task was to welcome them wen the reach singapore n bring them back to st andrews sec sch where they will be sleeping there during their stay. they had 2 air-conditioned classrooms. ha. finding them in the airport wasnt that hard bcos firstly, they travelled in such a big group that no one can miss them. secondly, their size confirms everything!

once reached sas we brought them around the sch n potong pasir estate showing them where the 7-11 was n stuff. then had dinner. chatted with the coaches. one thing about thai pple are the look ten years younger! the head coach is like 36 but looks 26. their 2 other coaches look 16 while they are 26! hahaha. incredible. we kept asking them wat was the thai secret n they jokingly answered, yoghurt n rice. lol

kind of expected sajc ruggers' trg attendance 2dae will be crap. trg is at 8am 2dae. past trg was 10am n already got pple late n overslept.. wat bout 8am!

tmr playing against them n 2nite my back already hurt like mad. arh.

silence.....

normal weekend

ahh. nothing much happened during the weekends. had the past vs present rugby game on sat n tats about it.

im dying of boredom. save me some1.

here are some of the pictures i scanned jus now.

SCC Jonah Jones 7s Team 2005

playing in malaysia... against the royal selangor club

Jonah Jones 7s

last weekend went to malaysia to play for singapore cricket club (scc) in the Jonah Jones 7s. no doubt it was one of the best tours i have been. we left singapore around 5pm and the bus we took we the first class seats one. those 28 seaters but we were only travelling with 16. so u can imagine firstly how comfortable the seat is and also not packed. haha. great. further more, the seats got massage! LoL! stopped over at ayer keroh (i think) for dinner at a&w. really missed the a&w food here, n being ruggers, we ate like no one's buisness. continued our journey till we reached KL. the good thing bout the journeys during this tour is somehow it felt very short. mabye its because of the pple who u are travelling with. the first problem started wen we reached the hotel, 3 players were given a room but there are only 2 beds! so one guy had to suffer la. calling for extra bed is too expensive. so in the end, for me, i went to my coach's room n took his bed. cos he has to bed but is alone. haha.

sat is the first day of the competition. we reach royal selangoor club arnd 10am. there is a players' tent but it was already filled with players n it looked so packed like some refugee camp. ha. so after pulling a few strings here n there we got to sit at the clubhouse there. with shelter n more importantly fan. being the youngest player there, i was actually quite scared to play. i started the first game very scared but after seeing how the msians play i say it boosted my confidence. haha. i was the first to score (add points) for my club during the competition. yeah! as we went further through the day we progessed. a few scc big shots were there to see how we play. we played 3 games with 2hrs interval (if not more) after each game. we ended our last game at 5.15pm. ended off the day with positive attitude. just when i thought i can go back to the hotel 2 relax n slack before dinner. one fellow rugger had to dislocate his shoulder while swimming. its an irony wen u thought that guy had played rugby 2dae without dislocating it but had to happen while he was swimming. haha. his reactions wen he was in pain was hilarious! thus, being the only malay boy of the team i had to follow him to the hospital 2 b the translator.

wen we reach the hospital, we were shocked to see the condition there. the waiting time there would take years. so i came out with this plan 2 tell the nurses n doctors there that we had a flight to catch back to singapore and had attend to him urgently. the pace of the nurses n docs there were like super slow la. they take things like so slow pace until we came. we made them rush like mad. a change of pace once in a while is good. everything was done in 1hr 10min. n tats even faster then the govt. hospitals here. haha. the last time i went it took me 3hrs jus to see a doc. we quickly rushed back to our hotel for our japanese dinner buffet.

the next day, sun, we went back there knowing that they games we r gg 2 play would not b an easy one. in addition, wen ur in msia, the referees there would never side singaporeans. we played our quarter finals with 7 men while they played with 8 men (including referee). the scored rather early in the game but couldnt covert it. so we were trailing all along even until the horn blew. thank god, we got penalties after penalties. scc won the game wen i scored in the dying moments n daniel converting the try. semis didnt wen that well wen we lost to some selangor team. yeah. freaking dirty. once we lost the semis, we were knocked out n went straight back to hotel to enjoy the rest of the tour. the rest of the night was just great. brian, darrel, jon leow n i got hungry so the 4 of us went on a good hunt till. we went everywhere n bought all types of food. we packed them n took them back in the hotel to have a feast. toked n slept arnd 4.30am.

last day woke up early cos i couldnt really sleep. had a breakfast by myself before coach n others join us. gg back to spore was a the most irritating part of the tour. the air con bus had to spoil when we was about to go home (according to the driver. which i think is like alittle bullshit). so we detoured to batu caves. i waited for 2 hrs before the bus came back. this time he told us, the air con is working but not cooler. so we had to wait for another 30 mins before the new bus came. then we shoot back to singapore. the only stop we took was the a&w stop. haha.

tue has seniors' farewell. it went well and the food was great. i had to be the bad guy by hosting the infamous chilli challenge. the faces of the senior wen they ate the chilli was super funny la. hope they enjoyed it.

scc plate finals report.

scc webby has the plate finals story. yay!

From the webby:
Again, scrum-half Khairul was outstanding, his distribution was slick and his sniping runs from around the rucks were always a threat.

haha. they make me sound as though im very good. but im not.

click here to the full report.

click here for SRU's Plate Finals Report

Some Pictures from the Plate Finals:

SCC Tankards team photo after the finals.. PLATE CHAMPS!

during the game... NO.9 is me!

a week of rugby

i have decided to unlock my blog once again.

last week was a week filled with nothing but rugby (rather obvious). everyday, i surely had something to do with rugby. even though i started the week already burnt out, i kept telling myself that is the last (4th consective) week of intensive (aka trg everyday except sunday) rugby plans. i was still happy that i could still perform well.

monday we had the last trg to prepapre ourselves for the m1 1os. it was very unfortunate that marc was running a high fever n could not play. the team would be much stronger. i felt sick after that n went home to sleep my day off. didnt go for club 7s trg. ops.

tuesday had our m1 10s. it was unlucky that our 1st game was against the american school. we lost 2 tries to 1 try. im sure that if we played them in our last grouping game we surely had a chance to beat them. as we play more games we finally setteled down. one positive thing about this team is that as we go on into the tournament our performance went uphill and but the time we reach our last grouping game, we really played like a 7s team. the support and defence was good. we were plate champions. taking into account we were playing with quite a few new players and some unfit ones it was a acceptable performance. after the tourney, had dinner with touch ruggers. go read kelly's blog about that kfc waiter. irritating.

I also wanna thank all those pple who came down to support us! =)

watched the u17s play their m1 10s on wednesday. also had lunch with the dear panel of sas coaches. mr alan wee is really pro la. he knows where to find GOOD food. we went to eat this power nasi briyani. woah. shiok la. their semis was against acs(i). full time was still scoreless n they went into extra time. after extra time still nil- nil. then guess wat? they decided the winner of the game by a COIN TOSS. i find it really stupid but thats the fastest solution to finding a winner rather then doing the correct method of teams with the most number of drop kick wins. mabye the field was shittie? who knows. Saints always have this tendancy that wen we get to choose the side of the coin we always pick the head. according to romano, he says that we believe that one needs a head to store the brains. n thats wat we did for the coin toss. n thank god, it was HEADs. they lost the final to uwc. but i must say it was a good performance but the boys considering the were only sec 3s. phil, weiyann, qian hui, kelly n joy watch the finals. after that had dinner with them at delifrance.

thursday, a few house commers came to plan the farewell. while waiting for others. phil n i were entertaining ourselves watching LOST. wen the others came, they joined us. till we ended up watching LOST most of the time. i cant wait for the next part to come out.

friday to monday was SCC Colts (U21) tour to KL for the Jonah Jones 7s Competition. I will write about it in my next blog cos i jus came back n too tired to continue. All i can say is that, The tour was AWSOME!~

ups and downs

this week has been a very long n tiring week for me. it had major UPS and DOWNS. now lets see.

UPS:
scc tankards won the plate finals against bedok kings. it was a good game. though at one part during the game tankards lost their discipline. my passes were 100% accurate with no drop balls. thats something encouraging after practising my passes on fri during sch trg like mad. i oso gave away very little penalties. most players said i controlled my forwards well. i dont know bout that but i did the best i could. and once more again. i was chosen man of the match by the club. haha. this is super fun man. i got the award for both semis and finals. awsome. its good to rejoice and celebrate the way and my achievements but i MUST not let this get to my head. cos if im gg 2 do that, i will surely not improve as a player. i must uphold the principal always believed in is in which that a player shouldnt think and keep talking of what he has achieved (credentials) but work for more achievements. once u get it u enjoy it for a while then get back to work. dont think bout it again.

anyway, here are a few extract from the union's webby:
Article 1:
In the other two Singapore Plate finals, SCC Tankards pulled off a major upset as they beat Brewerkz Bucks 10-6 with a try by young scrumhalf Khiarul Hilmi and conversions by Nick Groen. Bedok Kings and San Miguel Wanderers kept it at 15-14 to Bedok's favour in the last 5 minutes until a breakaway try by centre Dallas Pitchers and subsequently a penalty try awarded after forward Micheal Nielsen was obstructed from a try scoring position.

Article 2:
The Singapore Plate between SCC and Bedok Kings will be a showcase of young and old. SCC features a lineup with skipper Mark Luceri and ex Singapore Red Anil Kumar playing alongside the youthfulness of Khairul Hilmi, Bryan Ng and Nick Groen. Bedok Kings likewise has a lineup in similar fashion with skipper Mark Rhodes and ex Hong Kong international Keith Gauntlett mixing it up with youngsters Sugiyanto Suryono and Gaspar Tan. The Plate final will kick off at 3pm and the Cup final will commence at 5pm.

Click on the article to see a full report.

next, i wanna THANK Anil for his treat after trg on tues. the food was great.

Congrats to sajc touch ruggers for winning the bowl finals. i must say u girls have improved by alot since i first u all playing. great job! too bad i couldnt catch the finals.

Finally, not forgetting, phil, weiyann, hashim n zoe (i hope i got ur name correctly) for coming down to watch the finals! =))

DOWNS:
this is my 3rd week training non-stop. basically i started this week burnt out already and still went into over-drive. so not surprising, all the injuries are coming back and getting new ones. i swear i need a break but nobody wants to give me one or either all the trgs are very important. the worst was on fri. had to do sprints and runs even though i had finals the nxt day. its like even if i tell my coaches they wouldnt really be bothered but jus tell u to train la. seriously, if im gg 2 keep this type of lifestyle i will die soon. n im not joking lor. i plan once my commitment is lighter, i wan 2 go dissapear somewhere for bout a week before coming back to full swing. n oso not forgetting i need 2 study leh. further more, i have never had to much injuries in my playing career until now. gee. n im supposed to be peaking?! haiz. once again, i want n need a break.

READ THIS ARTICLE ON BURN OUT!

Typically it will occur in hard working, hard training, hard driven people, who become emotionally, psychologically or physically exhausted. This can occur where:

-you find it difficult to say 'no' to additional commitments or responsibilities (YES)
-someone has been under intense and sustained pressure for some time (YES)
-a perfectionist coach does not delegate (NO, more like not understanding at times)
-someone is trying to achieve too much (YES)
-someone has been giving too much emotional support for too long (YES)
-Often it will express itself in a reduction in motivation (YES), volume and quality of performance (Not Yet), or in dissatisfaction with or departure from the sport altogether (Not Yet).

Burn-out will normally occur slowly, over a long period of time. It may express itself physically or mentally. Symptoms of burn-out are shown below:

Physical Burn-out
-Feelings of intense fatigue (yes yes yes)
-Vulnerability to viral infection (dont know, but have been feeling sick)
-Immune breakdown (no)
Mental Burn-out
-Feeling of lack of control over commitments (totally)
-An incorrect belief that you are accomplishing less (not quite, but yes)
-A growing tendency to think negatively (very very true)
-Loss of a sense of purpose and energy (YES! and i need to find it back quick)
-Increasing detachment from relationships that causes conflict and stress, adding to burn-out. (110% YES! and its very sad actually)

There are more downs but shall jus stop here for today.

screwed

things are just so screwed.

do i really know what i am?

good shit

today was no better then a good day for me. SCC Tankards were playing Bucks in the Division 1 Plate Playoffs Semi- Finals. Two weeks ago, we got smashed by bucks quite badly and people all thought the winner of the playoffs were obvious even before the game started. Bucks are also the league champions after being undefeated since the begining of the season. so they thought they might have an easy passage to the playoffs since they were playing the tankards who got 4th for the league. you could aslo see how confident bucks were looking at their faces.

however, today the scores were not like wat everyone had predicted. it was totally opposite. the tankards played their best today. nick was the first add points for tankards by successfully kicking in a penalty kick. one minute before half time, bucks equalised and it was 3-3 at half time. 2nd half looked better for scc tankards. with a more focused and determined pack we dominated the game. i scored the one and only try through a quick tap off the free kick. like wat others would say, its a typical khairul move. n sorry eh jonthan leow, heard u screaming ur heads off for the ball but i didnt pass. after that try tankards were defending the ball like mad. we had bucks hitting the ball at speed n passing throught the gain line. the fired up tankards were not going to give such a wonderful game away. a few penalty kicks and the score full time was 10 - 6 to tankards.

unfortunately, i got punched two times during the game. n twice was straight at my nose. its freaking scary because the impact is so painful that i thought i broke my nose n now being paranoid that my nose is not straight. haha. anyway, its still hurting now. its also not easy playing with a swollen left ankle. it didnt help much either but the physio did a great job in tapping it. after the game, had dinner at club. it was super funny la. during the man of the match award, usually the player would have to drink down a cup of beer. i got the award but too bad i dont drink. in the end, i got a cup of Coke. can get high of coke lor. chatted with a few players before rushing home to watch the rugby test games.

aus and eng didnt play that impressive. a deserved win for eng. cant believe gregan got yellow card la. like hello!! ur the capt!! ur supposed to be an example to the team. dissapointing la. tsk!
nz and ireland are playing now... obviously it's a one sided affair. all the way Kiwis!
next week will be surely a K.O. week for me. its rugby rugby and more rugby. yeah!

just for the record, i've got man of the match award for divsion 1 (tankards) and division 2 (3rds) and scored in both the semi-finals of div1 and div2. must keep telling myself not to get on top of the world or i'll b dead for sure. great job i've done but its time to carry on. i shall leave this behind me and start afresh. =)

ok. long entry. back to ICE time!

damaged

im losing more interest in the things i have always enjoyed.
i've lost most of my confidence and all hope. the more i find the more i lose of whats remaining. but i really need to get it back.
are friends really what i think they are? good and always there for me? i dont think so.
sometimes i think friends are a one way thing. they will listen to you but they wont let u listen to them or just that u dont have time for them. been in both situation n felt only one thing. useless that i cant do anything to help them.
But wait! can i even help myself? oh well. at least i want to help others.
this phase of life im gg through is the worst. i dont know lies ahead of me.
i want to get control of this but i cant.
i want to do so many things for me and everyone but i cant. i will be too bz wif shit or the person jus cant.

no one will understand n ever would. so its just me, myself n I gg through this.

for the smart ones, who entered my blog by disabling the java script, u are such an idiot n the greatest KPO person anyone can ever see. the fact that i lock it is for idiots like u not to read. so just do me a favour can? piss off. thanks.

blog locked.

everyone must b thinking why the hack i locked my blog. well the main reason is that i dont quite like people who i dont know reading my blog. i didnt mind until some stuffs happened recently. this is my blog so i shall blog wat i write. if u r not happy then the best advice i can give u is dont read. if u want. read n keep ur thoughts to urself. the fact that you are reading this means u already know my password. please keep the password to yourself n dont tell other people. i trust u pple as my frens.


2dae i just bought a compression top. its nice. firstly, even though i sweat alot, it doesnt make my tshirt too soaked with sweat. the best part is that i somehow cools ur body down.

tmr got semi finals game against bucks. will be playing for scc div 1. lets hope for the best. i think that scc hav a good chance of winning the game tmr. its either do or die.

alot of thing hav happened recently. i hope i hav the strength n wisdom to carry on. god please help me.

BYE BYE PW

I FINALLY FINISHED MY OP! WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
pw almost done after my grp finish our file and thank god. I&R is done already.

ok. on tues nite went back to padang to train. the field is superb. the field really like bed. i think i can just lie down in the middle of the field n just sleep there la! yest nite got clear sky so can even see stars. how nice. grass there is fresh n wet. so nice for playing. cant wait for trg tmr n game this sat at the padang! haha. the even better part is that there is finally a proper changing room with towels, shampoo, water cooler and etc.. all Provided. the tanglin field dont even have one. haha.

HARI RAYA!

Hari Raya so far has been a Blast !! i truly enjoyed myself the past 3 days. gg over to pple's hse and them over to mine. one gd thing that was very encouraging was my relatives saying i lost quite a lost of weight since the last hari raya. thats good to hear. also must try not to eat alot this hari raya cos need to maintain.

1st day, Thurs:
was all the formal stuff. went to mosque early in the morning. kind of cool actually cos that was the last time hari raya prayers was gg 2 be held at the mosque as it was gg to be renovated soon. n it will take arnd 4-5 yrs. after tat, finally had my long awaited breakfast at Macdonalds. u can imagine how it felt after not having breakfast for like 30 days. since my grandparents (mum's side) were staying with us, all my aunties and uncles came to meet at our place. asked for forgiveness and talk cock. after tat went to visit my grandma (dad's side) and visiting. it was so much fun getting to met my cousins again.

2nd day, Fri:
nothing much happen 2dae. went for friday prayers in the afternoon. somebody had passed away either the day before or on that day and there were extra prayers for the deceased. i decided to join in. n for the rest of the day, i was thinking how lucky i was still to b alive celebrating hari raya while the family members and frens of the deceased had to like mourn during such a wonderful celebration. gee. it would b very sad. had cny sub-comm meeting after that. rather productive as we got alot of work done. at nite, continue visiting my dad's side aunties and uncles. cool.

3rd day, Sat:
my beloved house comm-ers came over to my place for hari raya. it was soo fun. i guess most of them were surprised when i came with aini. anyway, i hoped everyone had a great time though i agree with what hash says that the first part was rather boring. haha. sorry eh! shd hav the most of them trying to eat chilli la. super hilarious. watched 2 movies and a soccer game and not forgetting the ps2! i think the best part of the day was the last part wen everyone gathered around the table n gossip. wahaha. there we at my place from 12pm till 11pm. cool stuff! our nxt planned outing is the chilli challenge. looking at the current situation, it wont b surprising that hose might just win! =P i hope my parents were nice to you.

touched

from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU very much that cute little soft toy the two of you gave to me. PIUS and HUILIN you two ROCK my world! im very touched by wat u guys have done for me. =)

the cute little soft toy, Blaz Torto.

Blaz is the name given to this 3 yrs old bear by Captain Miller of the Swot team who saved it from a blazing fire 2 years ago. Since then the two had become great friends. However, Captain Miller was killed during one of his missions, leaving Blaz behind with nothing but a gas mask found in the heap of debris. Hence, Blaz put on the gas mask and began his adventure in Action City!

friends!

=)

A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself

interest

im starting to lose interest in the thing i most loved and enjoy. i need 2 get it back. fast.
im starting to question myself. am i doin wat is right? wat is need of me? wat is being professional? is there really such things as frens? can someone please tell me. i dont know.

was blog surfing jus now and i found this from nick's blog which i find very meaningful. i think its frm the movie Coach Carter.
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darknes, that most frightens us. your playing small does not serve the world. there is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. we were all meant to shine as children do. its not just in some of us its in everyone. and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, as we are liberated from our own fear. our presence automatically liberates others. "

zong's place

was at zong's place yesterday night. wanted to overnight but didnt had the mood. but i had quite a fun time talking to u house comm-ers. today will b gg there for dinner! House Comm day out! looking forward. zong will be going for his knee operation soon. hope everthing will turn out fine and recover quick k? =P Zong's dad is super funny la. the 1st thing he came n saw me was like.. can u make it anot?? haha.

i think i have wonderful parents. they actually bothered to take me home from zong's place even though it was already 1 plus in the morning. i thought of jus taking a cab home but they were like.. nvm let dad fetch u home. i touched that my parents actually sacrifice soo much for me. now i feel guilty for not being able to spend alot of time with them because of school. oh well. at least they are understanding. i love my parents!

Hari Raya is fast approaching.. cant wait for the fasting month to be over and i can officialy drink water with u all during trgs. haha. can also finally call pple up for breakfast and lunch. get to wear new hari raya clothes. and the best part of all is the food! i get to eat my rendang, ketupat, lontong, sambal goreng, chicken and etc... cant wait!!!!!!!!

super cool! my mum came out in 2dae's malay newspaper (berita harian) haha. nice nice.

yest i got attacked by my cute little cousin who was following his mum to send over some stuff. yeah. he kept trying to get me out of my seat so that he can use my laptop. haha. so we decided to go in turns. so he was like chatting for 5 min and wen i came to my turn i only got a minute. so not fair. at least i enjoyed myself pinching his chubby cheeks. haha. evil but nice. =P

my cousin. trying his best to pose for a shot.

my "sister" wants me to blog about her so here i am blogging. haha. my sister is actually a very nice person although the 1st time when i saw her she looks super intimidating. lol. a very straight to the point person, which is good because i dont like pple who always try to beat about the bush before gg to the main point. being able to understand a person is her forte. i guess she's a natural eh? and that "sister" is audrey. haha.

for the not good part of my blog,

i am very dissapointed with quite a few people around me. yeah. i mean wen u do something wrong (or anything to hurt one's feelings) its only right if u be apologetic? its disheartening to see they dont even say sorry. i mean a word like sorry isnt tat hard to say rite? oh well.

hm.. shall stone n rot at home 2dae. yupp!