Tuesday, March 28, 2006

post exam

i need a break.

didnt had the break i needed after block test 1 cos i was still caught up with lots of things. mon had physics spa. went rather alrite i guess. after tat we had trg. it has been quite a while since we trained. n season is like SUPER close. we did fitness.. something which i tink the team really needs. damn tiring. i basically couldnt really hyperextent my wrist. so had to subsitute the exercises involving wrists to some others where it involves other body parts. did unit skills later followed by team- run. will be playing against cjc tmr at 5.3pm in the yuckie field behind the c block.

2dae had prize presentation for the scc 7s squad. one part of me felt proud of myself while the part of me was dissapointed. one thing for sure i know was tat we could have done much better during the tournament. i do agree tat having gone to the cup finals after like 15 yrs is an achievement. but what really is an achievement wen u know you could have been better? wen u know u have much more potential. yes it hurts. but its a lesson learnt. remember this feeling n make sure it doesnt happen again.

went with ls ltr to get his boots. nice boots. saw Gilbert (saint's legendary kicker) at popular bookstore with ls.

while gg back home a thought came to my tired mind. i was thinking why i am still playing rugby even though i have been through two major injuries in a row. its not a fun thing for sure. n its not something which you think you can enjoy and slack. bullshit. having injuries only means u sit there n watch pple train, wen u come back.. you better get back in shape quick n ure expected to perform like u did before u got injured or if not better. there is not much time left as everyone knows season is fast approaching. the only thing that keeps me going telling me carry on b be strong is the strong passion i have for the sport and the school. more importantly, i need this game to help for my future. its really important. it doesnt matter if i have to be "wrapped up" jus to train or play. i will do it. people arnd me keep telling me the repercussions that i will be having when i grow old. I KNOW! it would really be nice if you guys can stop reminding me about that.

all i want now is to make the best out of this season since its gg to be the last (hopefully) national schools competition that i will be representing st. andrew's. wearing that tradition blue and white stripes.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

future

went shopping with parents today. got a new pair of boots, knee guard, shirts, pants and i cant remember wat else. haha. good day. tmr is physics spa. n trg is gg to resume. gg back full on. wohoo!

with the departure of technial director, matt ryan, the fate and future of singapore rugby union remains even more uncertain. ohwell. thanks to one idiot who ran away with the money, everyone else has to suffer. i think that the worse thing any human can do.

bull

sometimes i really think whether have i really made the right decision so far in life being where i am now. is a dream n ambition the same? ohwell.

you know i really believe that this world is full of pple who makes so much noise and comments and never show it in action. a typical NATO (No Action, Talk Only). they go around making smart comments jus because they may have the experience and money or wat so ever that makes them better than those they comment on. like hello! dont you know whatever smart ass comments you make can affect that person? n how does it bloody feels if you are working ur ass off and really working hard wen someone who does no shit comes up out of nowhere n make a comment on you jus because you make a mistake n such comments really hurt. to make matters worse they can be one of your own pple. sickening? yes.

these pple have already done nothing and wen u do smth good... they will happily take all the credits like its theirs n tat they were a Major contributing factor. wen you dont... they will try to disown you n make u feel like a damn loser. bloody irritating n sick. hah. n the best part is wen u need their help, they close their doors n make excuses. yeah.

miracously, i dont wat made me still make that decision eventhough there were many other options. hah. too late to cry over it or anything. but one thing for sure.. i will make the best out of
it. trust me if you pple are gg to open that shit ass again i will do smth nasty. hah.

tis entry is not bcos i noticed it happen to others but myself. n i dont want to say who. dont bother trying to guess either.

other than that, im cool n happy! =)
wont be pissed jus bcos of shit mouths!

Saturday, March 25, 2006


SAJC SCC 7s SQUAD 2006

Hose House Committee!

major reconstruction

it has been ages since i actually blogged. was on semi-haitus as my life went through some reconstruction.

had school scc 7s a few weekends ago. though we didnt win the competition, which i knew we could, we still broke a record for sajc as the last time sajc ever went to the finals was 1991 n thats like 15 long years. rugby season is fast approaching and we really need to get down to serious buisness now. having camp nxt fri n sat.

block test sucks. shall make no further comment.

shall blog more next time.

Monday, March 13, 2006

loss of hope

dear God,
i really need u now.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

farewell

Farewell Mr Wayne Williams. May you rest in Peace. It has been an honour playing together with you for the season.

What would you do when you need to make a decision that:
1. both has heavy negative consequences
2. both are equally important
3. you have already tried balancing n doing both but u just cant do it
4. you need to really choose one
5. you need to make it quick or u will lose both.

I really don't know. ohwell.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

coming soon.

im being to have this habit to update my blog once a week at most. cant really find time to blog.
so this week has been rather interesting.

being asked to go for the photoshoot was damn embarrassing. the principal having to call out ur name during morning assembly asking you to see her immediately after morning assembly is damn scary. to make matters more interesting, the tchers all got an email that i was going for it. i mean that is really damn malu. n nowdays if u notice some teachers already give u that stare.

the photoshoot was on thurs. didnt go sch. the building looks like some god-knows ulu warehouse. but inside the company's office was cool. they had so many photo studious. wat was much more cool was that there was actually a pool table in the lounge. all of us that were they were like wow! played for a while with the rest of the pple. drink were free flow. jus go to the fridge and take.

one thing for sure is i dont think being a model is fun. its really tiring and boring. setting up the crops take sooo much time. then they put make up on ur face. i really look damn gay la n someone will agree with me rite? never in my life have i ever used those facial powder and lipstick until thursday. haha. then comes the photo taking part.

had to take 3 different positions for the photos. photos are taken to perfection. in other words, i have to pose there while they take a few photos. then all will rush to the computer to see how the pic is while i stone in that position. if they like it i can stop. if not we taking photos until they get one they like. to get one photo it took damn long la. esp the one where i had to jump n they take me in the air. that is damn bloody tiring. somehow its also rather scary bcos the last time i jumped that high and landed was during the rsn 10s where my leg ended up in a depression causing me to tear my meniscus and go for op. so yeah. mental barrier. haha.

nevertheless, overall it was one super fun experience. something which i will never forget n lucky to get. =)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

end of the week

yesterday had house comm cip. it has somehow made an impact to me. not too sure about others though. n yes. finally had a melay-unit dinner that evening. had a good time.

today cleaned my room. i finally decided to get my lazy ass to work. decided that before i start my official revision for block test 1 which starts tmr, i shd start cleaning my room first so that i can have the mood to mug. haha. spent the whole afternoon doing it.

ok.. im off to plan for induction!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

brothers

o levels results were out. most of my junior ruggers didnt make it to the jc. it is really very sad that after we play for about 4 years together, we can no longer play side by side using the blue and white stripes.. but life goes on. we need 2 b strong. we go our separate ways. the bond that had been formed can never be broken or taken away from anyone else bcos we have been through thick and thin together. we won, lost, fight, bleed, discloate and smile together as one. it especially hurts even more for me as ur ex-capt who have not only seen but grown together with you since you were sec 1. from us being trashed and smacked 56-0 in 2002 to winning the tittle 10-7 in 2004. training were never easy and we pushed each other and work together.

this journey that we have been through together will always be remembered for the rest of my life and it the best. at times we may challenged by obsctales we find its almost impossible to overcome but we did. i dare proudly say we are brothers. for those that make it, welcome aboard. for those that didnt, you have created such a positive impact to the team while u guys were here for these few weeks. something which i thank you from the bottom of my hearts. even though we may not wear that sajc jerseys together i hope to get to play along with you guys soon. hopefully through our clubs and old boys game. take care boys.

here is the quote that was read to us before our finals and every single word means alot of to us:
"We would not die in the man's company,
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered,
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me,
Shall be my brother."
-Shakespeare's Henry V, Act 4, Scene 3

all the best brothers.

hard to find time to update blog. sch work is piling up like nobody's buisness. n gg for physio so that can recover and start training as soon as possible. this week starting jogging already, thus can slowly start working on my fitness. will blog more soon. now no mood.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

life goes on

no matter what happens. life goes on. we need to be strong.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

cny blast

Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese frens! =)

tis morning didnt start off rather well. tried to sleep over it yesterday night but somehow not all went away. was rather moody and stuff.

everything changed for the better in the afternoon when my mother asked me to go for a family picnic. all my mother's side. intially i didnt want to go bcos of my knee and mood. but after they negotiated n stuff. felt rather bad n just follow. first stop was having lunch at east coast park. granny had cooked some food. so we went there and eat. when my cousins all went around to take pictures i decided to jus sit still and read my newsweek and book. haha. still reading the book which i just bought- "mind games" a book on mental strength for sportsmen.

when we got bored of the place, we decided to go to sentosa. the place where my uncle work. upon arrival, parking was nothing to be worried about cos we parked at his workplace and kind of made his office our headquarters. thus, the rain tat afternoon didnt effect us.

since im injured and cant swim while all my cousins were busy playing with sand n water. i found the best thing to do in sentosa. its something tat not everyone can do, in fact very little pple can do. its not playing at the beach. its not gg for a swim. its not the carlsberg sky tower nor the new luge attraction...

its driving a buggy (by myself!!!) around the sentosa beach. i drove from one end to the other end of sentosa. haha. at first it was damn scary cos the beach (from one end to the other) was soo packed with pple. and i had never drove a buggy before. after a few quick lesson from my uncle and practise rounds at his work area, i was ready for the real thing! haha. so i went out to the main beach roads and drive. we drove beside a car on the main road. i drove past pple. n even the traffic police. tat adreline rush in my body, kept me gg from back and forth. until finally my uncle was tired already. so i had to drive him back. then did alittle washing of the buggy before driving my cousins around. i believe this is the best sentosa exprience i ever had. while driving, was so bad to go horn at pple. haha. im looking forward to gg back to sentosa cos my uncle said anytime wen im there, jus giv him a buzz and he can either drive me arnd or i drive myself! wohoo!

was reading the mind games book and find one of my greatest fault. the book explained the reason for being so. i hope its a good explanation.

"... Something else has to drive a person on- their personal sense of pride and satisfaction. This is why many performers can come across as selfish- because they know what they want to do, why they are doing it and they are not going to deviate or be distracted from that..."

"For some athletes, hurting those they are close to is part of the preparation for competition."

"... It may be that top champions need such dedication and focus on achieving their goals that they simply appear selfish."

"...Not only does the sports person have to 'put themselves out' to make it to the top, so pple around them have to make necessary sacrifices too. Friends and family have to be generous enough to accept that they cant expect to come first in the athlete's priorities..."

will blog bout this soon.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

cny celeb

cny celebrations is finally over. one of the last, if not the last, event being organised by the house council. in a way, im happy. can finally put more time in my studies and doing things i always wanted to do. plus i still have a few week's off from sch trg.

this week is like super stressful. had to plan for cny at the same time do a mascot for cross-country. was damn surprised when hose won the mascot competition. totally unexpected. but who cares. we won. haha.

scc rugby webby had the dinner report.

The "Rookie of the Year" award went to the "find" of the season - Khairul Hilmi, who despite not drinking has shown so much pace this season that it has left us all thinking we are drinking way too much.

taken from http://www.sccrugby.com/News.asp#article1

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary,
When troubles come and my heart burdened be,
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

no more crutches

BYE BYE Crutches!!!! hope i wont get to use you anymore. dont look forward to be with you either. hah. i shall walk by MYSELF!

okay. its super late and im damn tired. shall blog about my first comeback (to sch that is) soon. haha.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

og time

i finally went out of my house 2dae after being home since thursday. the last i remember being home was my last operation. and tat was like 1 week in hospital. and 1 week at home. at least now not that bad. so anyway, i went out 2dae to the coffeeshop for breakfast. was so excited to get into the lift. but wen i reached the coffeeshop felt like gg home. the excitment became too tiring for me. having to travel everywhere is crutches sure needs alot of energy. good workout for the arms. hah. then, pple also give u the "aiyo.. what happened to this boy look".. "so young already like that". quite malu to see senior citizens walking healthly beside me. nvm. soon i will get rid of the crutches.

afternoon was spent for sleeping. knee hurts quite badly. woke up arnd 4pm. shortly after afew og 35 pple came over for a mini gathering. as expected not all are able to make it. but with the pple present it was enough to have a good time. talked cock and eat. watched the spiderman 2 movie on hbo. i had a good time!

tmr im finally gg back to sch. somehow got this mixed feeling of wanting and not wanting to go sch. i want to go sch bcos i miss sch- as in my frens and tchers. but i dont wanna go sch bcos of the of the HUGE workload that is jus waiting to skin me alive. plus travelling around with crutches wont be fun either after today's short experience. i also need to get back the mugging mode (or rather need to start having it) cos this is like the most important year. its either u make it or break it. hah. at least something to look forward and help me achieve that mugging mode is my study kakis. thanks pple.

tmr also going to see the sch physio. want to go for intesive physiotheraphy so that can recover in time and quickly go back trg and kicking arses. alot of pple cant see the full picture. nvm.

"Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible."- Frank Gaines

Saturday, January 21, 2006

off

being home since thursday and doing nothing at all really sucks. hm.. somehow it seems wierd. wen i was so bz with sch n rugby i always wanted to have time to jus stay at home do nothing and stone. watch tv. laptop infront of me. sleep in the afternoon. acting like im not worried about anything. and then wen the time comes. LIKE NOW. u just wish u had ur hectic life back. mabye its just me about not being happy with wat i have. spoilt brat.

this year has not been any good yet for me. everything has been rather off recently too. so much for trying to be optimistic and looking things at a bright side. i feel i have been rather off frequency with quite alot of my friends and i think its all my fault. i take tat blame. some noticed it some dont. to all who are affected sorry.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

hospital life

im finally back. not from holiday but from hospital. i missed hell alot of sch work n seriously need to do LOTS of catch up. i have not been in school since monday and will only be back next week.

i went too see doc on sunday to take xray. n it was good that nothing happened to the bones. since my knee was swelling it had to be a muscle(S). n only MRI can actually say wat happened to my knee. n it can only be done on monday cos the MRI centre in Mount Alvernia was closed on Sunday.

on mon, went for MRI in the morning. report came back in the afternoon. was immediately sent to a specialist. according to the report, i tore my medial meniscus quite badly. doc also said that i might also had torn my ACL though the MRI scan shows that my ACL is actually fine but its always 10-15% not accurate. the doc then asked me wen do i want to have my knee done. i replied asap. and he replied THIS EVENING! i was like.. wah.. tis one really fast la. one thing that really scare me to death was that the doc said that my middle meniscus will take 6 wks to recover but during the op if he sees that the ACL is damage and it needs reconstruction, he will reconstruct it on the spot and that means i will be out for 6 months. i was really scared that i might miss this rugby season. the last rugby school season of my life. before my op, melays, huilin n ena came by.

after the op, the first thing wen i woke up was to ask pple arnd me what happened to my knee in particular ACL. the nurses were like... mr khairul you will have to wait till the doctor comes by later and tell u k. being all sedated n stuff i didnt have enough energy to purse in the matter. i just went back to my stoning position. once back in my room, started puking like mad. puke here n there. phil, javier n eugene came by after my op. sorry i all sedated and puking everywhere. doc then came n told me the good news that there was nothing wrong with my ACL and my middle meniscus is "repaired". so this means im 6 weeks out.

tue and wed didnt really do anything much but stone and what really touched me was my friends who visited me. thanks guys u pple really brought that smile. for others u cant make it, thanks for ur SMSes! without u pple, i think i would have just died of boredom there.

here is a thank you from me to all those that came: (i will try my best to remember all those that came)
  1. kumar
  2. anand
  3. keane
  4. prash
  5. huilin
  6. ena
  7. jonathan leow
  8. romano
  9. phil
  10. javier
  11. eugene
  12. nic
  13. weiyun
  14. weiyann seetoh
  15. qian hui
  16. louis
  17. ashraf
  18. suhaimi
  19. alex
  20. porky
  21. gerald
  22. zong
  23. tiff
  24. malcolm
  25. herng liang
  26. joel
  27. gen
  28. van kang
  29. veron
  30. liang sheng
  31. weiyan chen
  32. caleb
  33. kelly
  34. stef
  35. arthur
  36. mr louis ho
  37. yew wei

Sunday, January 15, 2006

thank you

i wanna thank the following people for supporting the team yesterday in the finals:
1. Mr Ong!!
2. arthur
3. porky
4. touch ruggers!

your support was something we needed esp during that finals! once again a big Thank You!