"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."

-- Carlos Castaneda, author

Wishes all a blessed Christmas!

"I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint--and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing "

-- Oprah Winfrey, Talk Show Host

KL

Now at the KL Subang International Airport waiting for my flight back to Singapore. The B division training tour just came to an end today. On the whole, I believe we have achieved most of the objectives of this trip. Both on and off the field. Given that opportunity to referee our boys' games gave me a rare opportunity be in the field with them and observing their actions. More importantly, listening to how they communicate and aspects coming from the law side.

It was also encouraging to be able to meet up with some of my friends staying in Malaysia. For those I didn't had to meet, I apologise. Just that our team schedule was jam packed. On a more positive note, I most probably will be in KL next early Jan again.

The festive season mood is here!

Time for reflections.

Day out with the Japs...

Today I had the opportunity to referee the Regional Japanese 10s Tournament at AR-JAS. Japanese Association teams from all over Asia come down to Singapore to win the trophy. The tournament kicked off with a congregation of players and officials. Team officials were introduced and briefing to players was made. Weather was really unpredictable. It started off really cloudy with light drizzle at around 8am. At around 1pm, the sun came out torching. I was the lucky chap to have my game at the hottest time. Just as I was refereeing my 4th game at 2.30pm, torrential rain, thunders and lightnings paid us a visit for about an hour or so. I had to stop my game in the middle of the first half. And it was to resume immediately after the rain. The already muddy field became a swimming pool. With both players and referees going for mud bath. I became extra cautious on the contact, tackle and ruck situations especially when it occurs in the puddle of water. I'm afraid players going to ground head down first and having other players on top of him. He may choke and "drown" with that deep puddle. Therefore, I informed both captains that I will stop play as soon as such situation occurs. Unfortunately, that game has lots of stoppages. At the end of the day, players' safety is my utmost priority. Not surprisingly too, the injury rate during the tournament in high. I believe the contributing factors would be the soft (muddy) pitch and also players' fitness. Overall, I did enjoy myself refereeing today. I liked the way the players respected the tournament officials, definitely something which players here need to learn. The communication in the game amongst players were excellent. You can literally hear all the players talking to each other during the game. Again, a good game quality to follow.

"Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."

-- George Washington Carver, botanist

Injury

reach higher

Some dreams live on in time, forever
Those dreams, you want with all your heart
And I'll do whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line
What I hoped for at last would be mine

"People will not bear it when advice is violently given, even if it is well founded. Hearts are flowers; they remain open to the softly falling dew, but shut up in the violent downpour of rain."

-- John Paul Richter

ups and downs

Today was the longest time I ever barbecued. 5 hours in total. The teachers and I cooked 300 sausages, 139 chicken wings and 8 kilograms of beef steak. We started barbecuing as early as 2.30pm for the under 14 boys. As we were cooking, we too felt being slow cooked under the hot sun! Thank heavens it started drizzling around 4pm resulting in less warm weather. Finished cooking at 7.30pm. Just when you think it's over, you still need to clean up the place. Definitely drained my energy. I was actually quite hungry while cooking, but after having the smoke right in my face, I just couldn't eat the cooked bbq food. I doubt I will eat it in the near future either. All for the boys! I do hope they appreciate our efforts.

Unfortunately, as much as I want it to be a good day, an unpleasant event occurred.
Some people never learn their lesson!

At the end of the day, if you dare to do break the rules, be ready to face the music. It will never be nice. You know. I know. We all know.

miracles

i do believe in miracles.

ninja assassin

Watched Ninja Assassin tonight with some of my army friends. Good gathering and catching up session. Happenings back in camp. Indeed, my previous unit is a very colourful place. The film was too violent and bloody for me. There was blood basically every minute of the movie. Story line was predictable though. Nonetheless, it was definitely action packed with back to back fighting scenes. Unfortunately, our seats were the second row from the front. At times, had trouble trying to see the whole big screen.

On the other hand, I finally took a train to vivocity today. Yes. It has been really long since I took one.

sitex

Yesterday was the first day I stepped into an IT fair in Singapore. Went together with the coaches after lunch to expo. I had to fight the temptation of purchasing the heavily discounted items. All the "wants" suddenly become "needs". I personally feel that the best products to buy was portable hard disks/ thumbdrives, hp tablet laptop and HD/ Blue ray tv.

Been really tired lately. Probably the heat.

pushing me so far

Weather today was really hot. Come to think, it's not so much the heat but more of the humidity. Getting used to it though.

Refereed a game in the American School in the afternoon. Game went smoothly and quite one sided. Again, weather almost killed me. Hydration is really important.

Drivers in Singapore are have the worst attitude on the road. I got horned for giving way to a bus today by the car behind me. Seriously pathetic. No wonder we need so many "good manners" campaigns. Obviously, it's not working. Driving in Perth is much better. Most drivers have respect for each other. Giving way is a culture.

I starting to miss Perth life.


"I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same"
- Taken (part) from Love remains the same by Gavin Rossdale

Is God Evil?

Good advert on perspective of God.

Drawing the line

Finally went back to school today to meet up with the staff and boys. I felt happy going back to school. Catching up with the boys was enlightening. Definitely made my day.

Unfortunately, a Singaporean referee going back home during his study break is considered as "foreign" or outside referee. He is not really considered part of own home union. Find that really sad. Nonetheless, a line has been drawn.

"Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
- Albert Einstein

impossible to find...

It feels great to be home for the semester break. Catching up with family and friends. Unfortunately, the Singapore universities are all still having exams. Looking forward to go back to school later, meeting up with the rugby boys and staff.

Earlier today I was attempting to blog down my semester experience. Just as I was about to start, my mind went blank. I didn't know where to start from. About a minute later, I had a sudden rush of memories and attempted my best to record them down. I will post it once I had edited some parts.


Song (in my mind):

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
that I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you that
I would never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
that I will fall for you, over again
Don't make me change my mind
I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

Lyrics (part) taken from Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade

whirlwind of emotions.

my best

It feels good knowing that you have done the best you could for this semester. Now, it's time for a well deserved break.

Time flies when you are doing something you enjoy!

Next semester, it's going to be a different ball game altogether. Till then, CHILLAX!

Say 'em loud say 'em clear

I'm looking forward to my last paper!

I will blog more tonight.


Free by Lighthouse Family

Wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear

I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
And I wish you could know how it is to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be if I found I could fly
Well I'd soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing cos I know how it feels to be free

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
And I wish I could say all the things that I wanna say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear

One love one blood
One life you've got to do what you should
One life with each other
Sisters, brothers

One love but we're not the same
We got to carry each other Carry each other
One One One One One...

I wish knew how it would feel to be free
I wish knew how it would feel to be free

departure/ farewell

last weekend.

advantage

I am brought up to put others before myself. I learnt that sharing is caring. I will go the extra mile where possible to provide help to anyone. Even to those that had hurt me in the past. I am not a person who can easily say "no" to others as much as I should explicitly say sometimes (unless it's something evil). I respect everyone. I will do my best to compromise and accommodate to people around me. I do not expect anything back in return after I help. I always give but seldom take. And I'm happy.
My greatest satisfaction comes when I am able to help others and see them happy.

It's just me.

It therefore hurts me when people take advantage of my personality. People take my kindness as their entitlement. People start playing mind games with me when I've done all my best to help them.

Please do not take my kindness as my weakness.

going where my heart will take me...

Finished studying for my managerial accounting for next tues.. I still feel I need more practice though but I've completed all the assignments, tutorial and revision questions. Hm.. Probably it's just a state of mind.

Karawara Coles recently got their new check out machine system up and running. It is supposedly to help ease long queues. Effective or not, we will find out in due time. Probably it won't be fair to immediately judge considering it is a new system at Karawara and customers will need to get familiarised with it. An old man I was talking to said, and I quote, "This is just another way of retrenching part time workers".

I bought my bread today for $1 after the plastic wrapping tore. And it was actually my fault that it tore. I felt bad after paying it.

Didn't go for my run today as the weather looked threatening. Or is it just another procrastination?

Going back home soon. Mixed feelings.

Personal.

Song of the Day (parts only):

So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would,
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could turn back time, I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make your mine, I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go

Taken part from Wherever You Will Go by The Calling.

big picture

When one studies and takes his exam, he can find it really difficult to link ideas or concepts and memorise details. Moreover, he may have trouble being able to see the "bigger picture" of it. During exams, it can be a real struggle recalling critical details. The fascinating part is only after the exams end, will the person be able to see the whole picture and understand it.

I'm enjoying my (daily) runs.. Makes my brains more receptive when studying.

Thunder or two, with possible storm tomorrow.. Hm...

Today's song of the day is slightly different, it's a classical song :
When Angels Weep by George Farmer

2 down... 2 more to go

Completed 2 papers so far. CIB was rather easy. Things which I studied for fortunately came out. On the other hand, accounting 250 paper was a joke. Ben and I were laughing as soon as we read question 1. Passing should not be a problem. Both papers had lots of people leaving very early. It's very common here for people to leave their exams as early as possible. Definitely a different culture than back home. I think if you allow Singaporeans to sit there for another 3 hours, they would.

2 more 2 more!

On my random side, my facebook seems to be a new virtual gathering place for my little cousins. Keeping themselves technologically up to date.

Im still in thinking about it... There's just too much and I'm not sure where to begin...
Losing control to be in control.


This song really relates to what is happening now...
Thanks AM for the song :)


Song of the day:

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

Taken part from The Motion by Matthew West

everything happens for a reason

Tomorrow marks the start of the semester exams. I’ve already been looking forward to the end of exams. It’s always good to start the exams on a positive note and I’ve been blessed as such. My grades have been encouraging. I need to start having the faith in myself.

Everything happens for a reason. Be it good or bad. It’s easy to appreciate the good things in life. On the other hand, it is hard to accept the bad things that happened. We start to question and doubt everything around us. Well, the truth is, there is two sides of the coin to look at, either positive or negative. Unfortunately, we humans tend to always look at the negative side first and get clouded by it. We, at times, are hungry for sympathy from others. Instead, let us start looking from the positive side of it. Such things only happen because it’s a test from God. We will not grow and mature as humans if we do not go through problems. We need to go through such hardships before understanding ourselves better and our purpose in life.
(edited)

Whatever you told me last night really started to make me think...
(edited)

pressure

im too tired to blog today.. shall blog tmr.


Quote of the day:

"Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it's because you've started to think of failure."

-- Tommy Lasorda, baseball manager

All the best boys...

Good luck to the Saints 7s squad playing in the semis later! Be confident and positive!

sleeping hours..

I can't seem to see the picture when it comes to cash flow statements. It kind of frustrates me. Probably my brains will process it in my dreams and enlightment me later when i wake up.

I miss my old sleeping routine.. :(

Looking forward to the end of exams!!!! :D

I found the perfect song for the day:

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

one moment in time

Went for financial accounting 250 consultation this morning. It was short and productive session. Managed to ask my tutor about some of my doubts in PPE and CT. Spent the whole day just practising questions over and over again from the revision pack. I hope I'm ready.

It really frustrates me when one tells another person not to be emotional (or in slang, emo). I strongly believe everyone has the very right to be emotional. If you're telling me you can't, you are either not human or seriously in need of professional help. Therefore, stop being stupid, irritating and idiotic by telling another person "dont be emo". If you claim it's a figure of speech, it's the worst one, seriously. It is obvious that the person is feeling emotional and there can be plenty of reasons contributing it. By you saying that irritating line, you are not respecting him as your friend and individual. He definately has issues and as a friend you are supposed to help him in anyway possible. So gents, grow up. Be more receptive of your friend's emotions. Further more, if you are going to say that to someone who is currently feeling emotional, you will make him worse. Unless, that's what you want.

Finally had a run today. I feel more refreshed and focus. Night mugging probably? Or just sleep? Hm....

I need to start filtering my "friends" in fb... After exams!

Quote of the Day:
"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." - William Ernest Henley, 1875

Lyrics of the Day:

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands

Taken (part) from One Moment In Time by Whitney Houston

Move on

"Stop being prisoner of your past, become the Architect of your Future"
- Taken from Pravsworld.com

Sunset

Current REDCON status for my units:
Accounting 250 : REDCON 2B
CIB: REDCON 2A
Law 222: REDCON 2B
Accounting 101: REDCON 2A

This is indeed positive. Nonetheless, there's still more work. Came back slightly earlier today and noticed the sunset as I studying. My room is one of those "lucky" few that has the sun shining in when it's setting. As it was a slightly cloudier day today, the sunset was surprisingly nice. I was just thinking, I hope not a room facing the sun rise or set. This is especially during summer where it rises very early and set very late.

As exam is approaching, everyone is studying hard (or at least I hope). One of my frequent study places is the library. Interestingly, I noticed that most people actually are on facebook. Be it on the uni's computer or desktop. And I'm no exception. It's amazing how the virtual world influences our life. There is definately pros and cons attached to it.

I also know it's a little too late, but I finally bought a coffee mug!

Lyrics of the Day:

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

Taken (part) from Hero by Enrique Iglesias.

My Prayer

Dear God,
Please give me the strength and wisdom as I make the most important decision in my life. I know the decision I need to make will have a major impact in my life in the long run. Please tell me what I should do. For you know what's best for me more than I know myself. I seek your guidance. Please show me the path.
Bless me with a calm and peaceful mind as I enter this stressful phase of life. For you are the source of hope and serenity. Please shelter me from unnecessary distractions. Provide me with concentration and time management as I prepare and sit for my exams. I understand that I have to work hard and leave the rest in your hands. Thank you God for giving me this opportunity to grow as a person both spiritually and academically.
I hope you will bestow my prayer.

Prayer

I miss those days where we come together as one team praying for a common goal...

I think God can explain....

Currently still at REDCON 2B for exams. Hopefully by tmr, I am able to move up to REDCON 2A.

Studied in the library with Akhil, Singaporean hostel friend today. Talked quite a bit about our national service during lunch and study breaks. It was really funny. Nonetheless, it was still productive studying session. Just got my flight ticket confirmation back home.

Have you ever wondered... what your life would really be like.. if you are the person you really want to be? Is the future/ outcome going to be really what you thought it would be?
I really wonder... hm...

I like this idea of expressing my thoughts and emotions of the day through lyrics of songs. At times, it may not really express fully what I feel but it comes close to it. Most times, very close. Interestingly, there are days where I only like parts of a song and not it as a whole.
There are just some songs that one will get attracted to throughout the day or weeks or even months. Probably, the meaning of the song, through lyrics or tune, has a subconscious effect on one's feelings or thoughts. It could be from the past- of what had happened. Present- what one is currently going through. Or future- what one hopes for or expects...

The beauty of life is its complexity...

Therefore, here goes the lyrics to express my day:

There's a lot of things I understand,
and there's a lot of things,
That I don't want to know.
But you're the only face,
I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you,
to look me in the eyes.
It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I'm the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet.

Taken (only some parts) from I Think God Can Explain by Splender.

accounting mircale

Surviving the Financial Accounting revision lecture today was indeed a miracle. It had to happen on such a lovely sunday from 0900hrs to 1600hrs. Nonetheless, I'm surprised myself to have actually paid alot of attention during the lecture. It's not easy especially when you have no interest in accounting. One thing which I can never get and laugh at is the accounting jokes the lecturers were making. To me it's not funny at all, probably that's because I don't understand!

Time really flies this semester. I feel as though it's only the begining... Well.. very soon I will be back in Singapore for the summer break. I will meet most of my friends back here next semester. But also, will miss a few closer friends who will go back to their countries. I never did like farewells. I prefer to come and leave as quietly as I can. Not because I'm bad but I hate the emtional part of farewells.

Going to have a real busy and hectic schedule this summer with lots of work and trips. I hope I really will be able to take a proper break this summer. I hope. I wish. I pray.

Next week, life is going to be routine and monotonous. Library will be my new home!


Lyrics to express my mood for the day:

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Taken from The Scientist by Coldplay

As much as this song expresses my mood for the day, it also has a significant meaning in my life and 27 others. This was our Under 17 National Schools Rugby Police Cup Team song. That was the season where no one has ever thought we could win. Not many had believed in us, but We did among ourselves. We proved them wrong! We brought the cup back home after 11 years.We had been physically and mentally battered. Pain was just a state of mind. We did all this just to gain back our respect from our peers and teachers which we lost 2 years before.

grandslam

Yet another productive day today. Managed to finish up some financial accounting topics in the library today. I pray that I can stay focused during the revision lecture tomorrow, yes Sunday, from 0900hrs till 1600hrs.

On the lighter side of things, managed to catch the wallabies vs all blacks game. Wallabies actually started rather well putting good pressure on the all blacks. Unfortnately, the table turns around in the 2nd half. Not surprising, all blacks switched on their game and took the win. Good luck Wallabies for your grandslam tour! Thereafter, rushed down to the end of semester (halloween) party at erica. Like everyone else, just went there for the food and mingle with hostel mates. Caught the semis of the Air New Zealand Cup between Wellington and Soutland. Very dynamic game but kind of boring towards the end.


And the semester is coming to an end! :(


Got this from Brian Tracy's Quote of the Day:

"We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."

-- Marie Curie, physicist


Lyrics to express my mood for the day:

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Lyrics taken from Wonderwall by Oasis.

Ops SEMEX (Operations SEMester EXams)

Did some productive studying in the library today. Managed to focus and achieve my studying objective. Only downside was a group of students behind me gossiping loudly about another guy. I don't mind them gossiping or anything but they should keep the noise level down at the very least. If not, go to the cafe or something. Not everyone wants to listen to grapevines. Nonetheless, studying in the library is a better alternative for me in the morning. It gets me out of bed and makes me stay away from it! Will do that from now on.
In military terms, I'm currently on REDCON 2B for Ops SEMEX. Not good at all! By next week, I need to be REDCON 1 or at least 2A, definately.

Started my daily running regime since two weeks. Been running almost everyday keeping fit to referee the upcoming NRC season back home. More importantly, it is a good break to have, after sitting down studying for the whole morning and afternoon. Healthy body, healthy mind right?

It's really nice to be able to keep in touch with the boys back in school. Good to know that they are doing well and still surviving for those taking their O levels. As they finish their Os, I will start on my exam. hah! For the younger ones, time to hit back the field and track. This is when you are going to start complaning that rugby is taking too much of your holiday time away. I'm sure some of them are already thinking of excuses to skip training. Been there before, worse actually. But that's the sacrifice you need to make, to win. Winning never comes easy. I believe there are quite abit of tournaments coming up before the Christmas break. Good way to gain all the experience they need. Wish them all the best for the upcoming SCC 7s.

Why must two things occur at the same time? Bledisloe Cup (Aus vs NZ) or Erica's End of Semester (Haloween) Party? Hm.. here we go again.. another decision to make. Brains already getting over heated of making too many important decisions this week. Of which I know some decisions have upset others.


Lyrics to express my mood for the day:

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

.
.
.

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Taken from Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Change

Since I came here in July, alot has change and is constantly changing. Lets start with the environment, pressure is taboo here. People are encouraged and motivated to achieve the best they can without society's pressure. At the end of the day, they believe in enjoying what they do. Be it study or having fun.
I've learnt that balance of both work and play is important to be happy and successful.
I've learnt that the only pressure that matters should be coming from yourself. I've learnt that ask if you are unsure. I've learnt that keeping fit makes your brains work better.
More significantly, I've learnt that we need to live my the decisions we make. Sometimes it's just not the way you want it to be but you feel reponsible for. I know that at the end of the day, no one or thing can stop you from making any decisions you want. It's your life and only you are accountable for it be it to God or any higher being. Therefore, one's decision usually weighs on whether it's right or wrong (moral), what is important, what they feel more responsible for. Unfortunately, this year, I've made a some bad decisions. It is definately a painful lesson and I take full ownership for the outcome.

I've noticed that even as an individual too, I've changed. For the better I hope. I know I have a perfectionist attitude. I know that once I believe or want something, it's really difficult to convince me otherwise. I can be very stubborn. I know my priorites. I need my personal space. I cant disagree that understanding or working with me at times can be very challenging. At the end of the day, I'm task orientated, at times too much of it. Putting others before myself has always been my principle in life. I strongly believe in giving and not taking anything back in return. I'm critical even with the little things. I'm just different.

Emotions. That's a big thing for me. Something which is always kept to myself and not shared with others. Not even to the closest. I'm aware that it's not good. Give me time, I'm learning. It has been hurt more than once and needs time to heal. There are so many things I want to express and share with others. In particular, the person(s) who are really important to me.

I do hope now you are able to accept me for who I am.

decisions

we live by the decisions we make... be sure.. be wise.. for we will be responsible for the outcome.

This was the thought of the day. In a few days time I will need to make really important decisions of what I want to do in both the short and long future...

thoughts and emotions

As I was driving back from K’s place, I started wondering all the things, thoughts and emotions I had ever since I came to Perth. Having a chance to start fresh in a new environment certainly was exciting and one which I have always looked forward to. As the semester is coming to an end, I start to reflect on the decisions I’ve made and actions I’ve done. Some thought provoking questions hit me:-
-Am I doing a course which I really want?
-What do I want to do in the future?
-Are the things I’m doing helping me to achieve what I want in the future?
-Are my priorities set correctly?
-What do I really want to achieve in this semester?
-Have I settled down?
-Am I who I am?
-Am I able to express my thoughts and emotions the way I want/ should be?
-Is both work and play balanced?

Knowing me.. My thoughts and emotions are always kept to myself.. I want to share.. but I can't.. Not that I don't want to.. But I don’t know how...

Try

Watched the film "Fame" today. Obvious story line but some of the songs were really nice. I like this one in particular:

Try by Asher Book

If I walk, would you run
If I stop, would you come
If I say you're the one, would you believe me
If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me
The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe I'm not ready

But I'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If I sing you a song would you sing along
Or wait till I'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If I give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am I catching up to you
While your running away, to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe I'm not ready

But I'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you're the one would you believe me

------

One would feel so much for a song only if it has alot meaning to him... True or not? Hmm...

done with reports

Yes. I am finally done with all my assignments, presentations and reports. Last phase is the exams! I will blog in more detail next time. For now, I'm just too tired to do anymore intesive thinking! Time to chillax... That's righttt.....

feelings

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

-- Maya Angelou, Poet

44 hours no sleep

The last time I slept was 44 hours ago.. Need some sleep now. Today has been a good day. Managed to do things which I needed to. (:

presentation

The past two weeks had been really hectic. Assignments and presentations to complete and not forgetting, semester exams coming up real soon. My results from all my assignments have been very positive and encouraging so far. I find Accounting 250 a real pain though. More importantly, today was my CIB presentation. On the whole, I thought my group did quite well and was relieved when it ended. This also marks the end of my presentations for the semester. I would actually prefer to do presentations compared to assignment. Most people would beg to differ though.

Last weekend, believe it or not, I actually went to Caversham Wildlife Park. Animals and I have never liked each other. Honestly, I don't even know what made me choose to go. Perhaps may have fell for the powerful persuasion of my friends, aka peer pressure. The trip was little traumatic for me although I must agree, I had fun. It was also my first time, after a very long time, that I touched a kangaroo! Impressive huh! Managed to also met and take photos of the 2 llamas there just for my lovely little sister.

Running could be a way of letting go one's negative thoughts and emotions.

Safety

How much and to what extent of risk should we take? Or forever be on the safe side.

calculated risk

Directions

Having a sense of direction is one thing, Following it is another.

Quality

"It's the little things that make the big things possible. Only close attention to the fine details of any operation makes the operation first class."

-- J. Willard Marriot

Dead?

This blog may seem to be dead with the last entry on 26 Apr 09. Or some people may put it in nicer term- permanent haitus.The truth is it's not. The reason for not publishing my entries is simply because I've wrote expressed alot of personal thoughts and emotions. This of which should either be kept to myself or people who are really close to me.

Nonetheless, in a nutshell, here is what had happened since I completed my national service:

- Worked with Saints as I waited for Uni.
- Saints B Div won back the Police Cup.
- The boys shaved my head bald on my ORD day.
- Left for Perth to start uni at Curtin.
- Actually prefer the lifestyle here. You are not as pressured by the environment. No such thing as competition unless you want to challenge yourself with the C_____ students. I get to put more focus on developing my refereeing skills knowing I can keep up with my school work.
- Met some really good friends here.
- Hostel life is not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. It can actually be really fun.

More importantly, I've been asking myself, what do I really want to do for the rest of my life? That will need revaluating my priorities and beliefs.

For now, I'm enjoying every moment of my life! :)

ORD LO!

counting down the days... (: