regroup

prelims will start tmr and im far for even getting close to say im prepared. mabye thats bcos i have set my mind that my main focus is my As. after scoring shit results for my entire sch exmainations so far, screwing prelims will make no different. but as long im focused for the As, that's wat is more important. im not saying that im not studying. i have been and further more, i never had studied so hard in my life before. but i have to set pace for myself. being weak in almost every department, there is no use rushing myself. i'd rather take my subjects seriously one topic at a time and do all the tutorials (for which i hardly do since j1). this will obviously take more time compared to those consistent people who have been doing their work and know wats happening. revision shd b much easier for them as it serves as a refresher. for me, it all bout studying from scratch and triple the practice.

yes. i do regret for not doing my work properly in the past. but theres no use regretting about everything and not doing anything to make sure it doesnt happen again. i've decided not to let myself destruct my future. i will study hard from now on. i will do watever it takes. i will make it through the As. all i need is trust in you.


i came upon this while surfing through the web, i find it very meaningful. i shall quote some of the parts:

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham,

drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

taken from Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.
click here to read the full article.

pathetic attitude

i think its about time some people in our school learn manners.
like what the hell la. u want to drink milo nobody say u cant. if ur mouth is leaking and it spills everywhere esp on pple's bag. please have the courtesy to clean it. eventhough its not ur bag, ur resposible for the spill.
some idiot (quite sad to call him such a name but he totally deserves it) spilled milo on my bag n jus walked away without cleaning it. n tat caused my bag to stain. seriously, no basic manners. this kind of things is hard for the school to teach u, cos ur parents ought to teach u already when u were young (which means like at least 16 -17 years ago). too bad they didnt. im sorry to be very crude but whoever you are... you have jus proved to us that. however, the good news is that its not too late. you shd know wat 2 do.

The I-Must-Always-Be-Strong Syndrome

Why do we so seldom disclose our deepest emotions, even to friends? There are probably many reasons, but is that most of us have somewhere heard that if we reveal our needs or get emotional, people will not like us. But exactly the oppoisite is true. People begin to feel close to us when they know something of our needs.

...

Sometimes we develop the habit of wearing an emotional disguise because early experiences gave us the wrong start. Here, for instance, is a beautiful young woman who is unable to let herself love a man. She remains aloof and detached, and eventually all men get discouraged and leave her. In her counselling sessions we probe for the memories from her past that may have careated this emotional policy. Finally it comes out. As a little girl she had an unsual amount amount of body hair, and one day, when some neighbour children came over to swim, they and her sisters called her "Bush".
"I started to cry," she said, "and I was so ashamed of crying that I ran into the garage and locked the door. I must have stayed in there and sobbed for half an hour, and right then and there I made up my mind that nobody was ever going to hurt me that bad again."
The tragedy is that by so insulating herself from her emotions since, she has not only kept herself from being hurt, she has also kept herself from being loved.

...

Dr Roy Mennnger, president of the Menninger Foundation in Topeka, Kansas, explained that men are more prone than women to what he called the "I-must-always-be-strong syndrome." ... "(he) sees himself as a very high- powered piece of machinery rather than as a human need system."

nicest looking tiger

this is by far the nicest and most handsome tiger ever printed on our jerseys. haha.
if the ruggers noticed, most of the jerseys we had worn before had tigers looking very funny. theres the clown tiger, the blind tiger, the round tiger, the laughing tiger and all sorts.
i like this tiger the most! haha.

how random.

 

ending of a wonderful chapter...

today was the SAV Rugby Dinner at sajc. its marks the season closure of the national schools competition this year. this also means that i have officially stepped down for my captaincy and its time for boon rong to take over. i am very confident he will do an even better job then me and thats how its supposed to be. in addition, my chapter for playing for st andrew's has officially ended (playing for the alumni is not official jus a pastime).

dinner was great. saw the videos of all the divisions and the plans that has been set for them. the junior school boys came down in numbers. its nice to see them down knowing tat they will be the next generation of ruggers to bring the village rugby to greater heights. and im very sure. we not only have good young enthusiatic players but also committed coaches who will go the extra mile without asking for anything in return.
i take my cap off to my wonderful coaches and teacher in-charges who have sacrificed alot of their time and taking care of us not only in the pitch but also off.

next comes a group of players, the batch of 1988/87 rugby players, who have not only shown but proved to the world that nothing is impossible. we have achieved what pple said is jus another dream into reality. you gentlemen will have a special place in my heart and i will never forget those great friendships that had been forged. if theres going to be a word to describe you guys will be.. legends. then we have the batch of 1989/90, for their outstanding performance in maintaining if not acheived more than what the batch of 1988/87 did. i do agree that your life is more stressful than ours because you all no longer carry the names of underdogs. u guys are pressured to produce results and have done so neatly.
for the juniors, eventhough there is pressure on u guys, u must always remember that the ultimate purpose of playing rugby is to enjoy and love the game. once u have the passion, the results will come naturally.

Lastly here are the people who i owe A BIG THANK YOU for making my St. Andrew's rugby career a not only memorable but an extraordinary one!
Mr Adam Silas: for taking the first step in taking me in to saints.
Mr Gene Tong, Mr Alan Wee, Mr Marcus Yeo, Mr Jonathan Leow: always believing in me. giving me the chance to lead the saints team. never failed motivating me to be a better player and leader.
Mr Koa Chee Meng: giving me plenty of leadership opportunites.
Mr Roy Wee: teaching me what discipline is. being very hard on me during trg (until in sec 1 n 2 i came home crying most of the time after trg. haha!) and pressuring me constantly. not for you, i will not have the discipline to take me where i am now.
Mr Louis Ho, Mr Edmund Koh, Mr Lenoard Ong: for taking me into sajc. n taking care of my welfare.
Mrs Charles: for having the faith in us.

i hope i did not leave anyone out!

theres only one thing left to for me now.. which all of my coaches, teachers, family, principals, vice-principals and friends will constantly remind me... STUDY!

changes

most pple i know have changed and i m no exception. mabye its bcos exams are around the corner. we tend to neglect and overlooked things which are important to us. some of them have neglected it for so long tat our impression of how we used to look at it change (usually to the more negative side). once it reaches this stage, theres two ways to go bout it. one, salvage whatever thats left. or two, heck it and act (which MOST of us are good in) as though nothing is wrong. unfortunately, most of us chose two.

im being to hate everything and every part of myself. heh.

WELL DONE TEAM CALEDONIA!

after having a very tiring day in school mugging and having consultations, i decided to follow my family down to catch the fireworks at esplanade. the fireworks are awsome! having live my whole life so far in spore, fireworks are not common at all. i enjoyed every second of the fireworks display n i wish i could catch the finale one tmr. my mum told me its gg to be even better then today! haha.

its not easy taking photos of fireworks but i managed to get this two pics (out of 20) right. haha.





























theres so much things i want to blog about but i jus dont have the time. ahh. 

Fly Me To The Moon

Frank Sinatra

Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me
Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

while i was reading through some stuffs, i found this which i think is quite true.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

lost of words

i really dont know wat to say. wen u have all kind of emotions running through u, the best solution is to keep my mouth shut.

arts

this weekend was good. on top of studying, i went for two concerts. haha. rapture and band concert. i'll give a thumbs up for both concerts cos i truly enjoyed myself. being a sportsperson, it quite difficult to appreciate art but these two concerts made it much easier for me! not being able to catch last year's rapture and band concert, i really didnt know what to expect and at the same time cannot make any comparisons.

went to watch rapture with the melays. it was the official last melay unit outing as focus is now on prelims and As. the student choreographed dance i enjoyed the most n believe it was good was the dance president's corrine, andrea and musa. the movements of the dancers seemed very well co-ordianted and not too messy. the scary one was the NUS one. boy oh boy. haha. the coolest part was in the last part where, all the former dance presidents were on stage. their exceptionally outstanding dance explains why they were the presidents. after rapture, everyone was busy giving flowers and taking photos. our class dancer's gwen and boon yan were great! very proud of them! too bad the melays all decided to go home after tat. went for supper with ian, joel and liang sheng before heading home.

on sun, i was enlightened with the music from our SAV band concert. i think its really cool to have all the SA bands including the almuni all performing together. i strongly believe they have successfully capture the theme which was "One Family, One Flag". further more, most of the music they played had very little error and it was very delighting to the ear. the repertoire i enjoyed was "Fantasy Variations" played by the SAJC band concert. although it was long, i really loved the music.

on the whole, this weekend has been enriching for me as i get a chance to appreciate arts by our own sajc students. a great job everyone!

tmr the c boys will be playing raffles in the c division semis. ALL THE BEST!

now, back to the books.

getting it

theres nothing really to blog about now becos life is all about mugging. other then the never failing surprises i get in school which can scare the shit of out me. everything is fine. been getting more mugging momentum which is a positive indicator. the stress is still something which i need to learn how to control.

i jus found out something very interesting bout myself. i had an appoinment with an eye specialist 2dae because of the redness in my right eye. dont be afraid, its not any infectious eye diesease that can make u instantly blind wen u look into my eye. i jus have high sensitive eyes. which believe it or not the doctor didnt know wat triggers it off. all he told me tat it will occasionally come and that i have to take proper care of my eyes. the funny part is, i have been playing rugby for 6 years getting mud splashed into my eyes all the time and none of this allergy thing hit me. but wen im not playing, not even exercising cos of my op, it came. mabye its bcos my eyes are not used to seeing books all the time. it got scared and turned red. haha. nonsense. or mabye.. hm.. rugby withdrawal syndrome? might. haha.

i finally finished typing out the article for the sch mag with the help of my successor boon rong. haha. good stuff eh. supposed to be retired. i was looking up for the last year which Saints Rugby won the championships and this is wat i found out:
C Div - 1990 (have yet to win it again)
B Div- 1993 (before winning it again in 2004, 2005, 2006)
A Div- 1989 (before winning it again in 2006)

alrites. im off to an early nite.