Monday, June 12, 2006

hullo!

hullo! hashim here! lol.
crashing k-rule's blog.
just finished playing around with the template.
hahahaaha.

doubts

When we live superficially, when we are always outside ourselves, never quite "with" ourselves, always divided and pulled in many directions by conflicting plans and projects, we find ourselves doing many things that we do not really want to do, saying things we do not really mean, needing things we do not really need and exhausting ourselves for what we secretly realize to be worthless and without meaning in our lives.

reflect and think bout it. dont you think most of the frienships you have are smiliar to this?

Sunday, June 11, 2006

i am starting to doubt and question everything around me. aye. im at lost of words.


Where faith is there is courage, there is fortitude, there is steadfastness and strength...
Faith bestows that sublime courage that rises superior to the troubles and disappointments of life, that acknowledges no defeat except as a step to victory; that is strong to endure, patient to wait, and energetic to struggle...
Light up, then, the lamp of faith in your heart. . . .
It will lead you safely through the mists of doubt and the black darkness of despair; along the narrow, thorny ways of sickness and sorrow, and over the treacherous places of temptation and uncertainty.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

st andrew's rugby career

my st. andrew's rugby career

today marks the end of my st. andrew's rugby career. after today, i will no longer be wearing the blue and white hoops playing school-boy rugby competitively. it has been a very long journey i had chosen since jan 2001. my career started when i chose to go sas after being scouted during a rugby tournament in primary school. just for the record, i didnt study at junior school at all. the primary school i came from was rosyth.

this journey like any others, have its ups and downs. bitter-sweet memory. rugby in st. andrew's have mould me into what i am today. looking at the fruits of our labour, i think all the injuries i have sustain and effort i had given was worth every single penny.

during this journey, the friendships i forged was one so close that i really treated every single player as my friend and brother. we went through so much shit together. gg to trg and camps getting tortured as one. trying to act terror but never had balls to fight outside field. and our forte, gossiping about others. haha. yes, at times we have misunderstandings with one another, that can lead to punch ups but deep in there we still look out and protect each other both on and off the field. we go through pain together.. pushing each other during fitness and drag each other just to get over that cross line. at times vomitting together.. standing one line along the drain at the old kallang campus vommitting cos trg was just to intensive.if u ask me.. thats wat true friends are for. its not only about gg into the field to play and win. its about the process that we have been through. all this had resulted passion for the game (believe it or not) and camaraderie.

what i will treasure the most from this career is my fellow st. andrews players. you will not be forgotten even though wen im dead. haha.

some of the flashbacks of my carrer:

Low Points:

- i still remembered the 1st ever trg i went in sec 1, where we had mr alan wee's share of fitness. it was not only a great cultural shock but also my whole body ached for at least one week. to make matters worse.. my classroom was at the 4th level. haha.

- the most painful moment was when i missed a drop kick smack in the middle of the post during the scc plate finals where lai wei scored a last second try to cover the deficit by 1 point. i missed the kick. if not for tat miss, it would have been a good final for me where i scored 3 tries.

-in 2002, when we lost to acsi in the u14 finals with a whooping 56-0. -trying to get the 2004 team to come together was really hard. everyone had their own "i-am-always-right" attitude. being the captain then, its really sad to see players not getting along. nevertheless, it was all settled.

-my wrist. but i never let it stop me from wat i love the most.. playing rugby.

High Points:

- being the captain of two championship teams (B n A div) that not only win, but rewrote history
n proved others that nothing was impossible.

-scoring the golden try during the 2003 police cup semis against sji (sec 3 then). i scored the try in the last minute of extra time.-scoring the equalising try in the a div police cup finals.

-captaining the sajc side to win our 1st ever national schools 10-a-side competition. in addition, it was the most number of tries i scored in any competition so far plus i scored at least one try in every game. haha.

-being able to continue playing rugby for saints after my Os.

Friday, June 09, 2006

step down

its interesting to see how my tag board is being used by two different individuals of different rugby school communicating to one another. im fine with it. haha. (:

house camp was rather slack for the seniors with so many "breaks". i think it was more of catching up old times with each other. gg into someone's room and talk, gossip and laugh together. my room mate was mr caleb! haha. super funny. caleb always sleep very early and is always the first too. left for kiwi cup trg half way during the camp. travelling from nus to yck is very long. and im so not use to that. but good experience. on the whole, i see alot of potential in the 7th house council. further more, i believe they will do a much better job than the 6th. yep. (:

had a nice long chat with st. andrew's rugby head coach, mr alan wee. productive conversation i must say. haha.

oh yeah. i won 2days 1nite (including free breakfast) stay at sheraton towers (5 stars)! haha. ((:

things i need/want to do: (in order of priority)

1. study, study and study
2. win the return leg of the kiwi cup
3. my ice- cream treat! *ahem*
5. play combined schools and get both my zonal and national colours
6. get my operation done

Sunday, June 04, 2006

PIMP2!

my new favourite number: 0139
wohoo! i just love it.

Friday, June 02, 2006

bored at liang sheng's place

the 1st week of holidays is almost coming to an end. n time seems to fly sooo fast. 3 more weeks to bt2 and boy.. i do need to get down to damn bloody serious mugging. not say i havent been down to do any work but jus that i think my pace is alittle too slow. need to speed up.

so yeah. we lost to raffles in the first leg of the kiwi cup, but tat does not mean we are out of the running. we will train even harder and come back stronger. 12 points down. second leg will be at our home ground and theres no more excuses not to perform. its time to regroup and refocus.

overnight at mr tee's place yesterday and i am still at his place now. haha. in the morning went for combined schools trg. as expected the turnout was bad. it really doesnt surprised me cos being in the team last yr, unfortunately, this is the players attitude towards combined schools trg. seriously i think there is a need for a change. but then again, u cant force players to come down cos their national schools season is over and their main priority now is, like everyone else, catch up with work they have missed out. nevertheless if u come to think of it, this pple still can find time to go out with their frens/gf/ girls/ etc.. or clubbing and all the non-productive things but not coming down for trg. i guess, like wat someone told me, everyone priorities have changed. and not everyone has the same passion for the sport.

this then comes to another change i have noticed since coming to jc. in sec school, every player is being driven by passion to play the game. they would sacrifice anything to just get down for trg and game. nothing would stop by their way. however, wen u come to jc, things start to change. players driving force is no longer on the passion but also other factor(s). i mean its perfectly fine as long as u can produce results. but then wen all their heart is being given to the other factors and no longer in the passion, u can see the change. they will lose interest in trg. attendance very inconsistent and all negative change. its up to the individual i guess to get this priority rite.

hm.. i thought of changing my blog skin. keep to something much simpler. haha.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

pictures!

if u really think of it. winning the national rugby championships for club (div 1) doesnt feel the same as winning the national schools a div. its much more emotional.

finally more photos of the finals are coming in. good stuff.

thursday had a kiwi cup trg. not many came though. but the highlight of that day was having dinner with arthur, liang sheng and marcus. haha. we talked and talked from 6.30pm all the way to 10.00pm. time really flies when ur enjoying urself. haha.

on fri went for combined schools meeting at ccab. quite surprised to see the faces of the players selected for combined schools. heh.

sat went to watch super 14 finals at scc. the weather condition of the game was really bad. it was damn foggy. u cant even see ur line from one end to the other.

blacks fun touch was on sun. shen wei (our capt), akira, liang sheng, arthur and i played for Super Duper Saints. akira had to choose such a freaking wierd team name. nevertheless, wats more impt is that we had fun. we beat all the teams coming in 1st position cos the competiton was in a round robin format.

kiwi cup game is 2dae. Saints XV vs Raffles XV.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

good life.

A Division National Schools Police Cup Champions 2006,
St Andrew's Junior College

one of the feelings i will remember for the rest of my life!


the suddenly change in lifestyle after season is over is very hard to adapt. for the past 3 months, they the only thing u did was train, train and train. u had always hope and bitched about how much free time u wish u had so that u can do things u like and need to do. and now wen the time have finally arrived, u wished those training days were back. u missed all the hard tackles, line breaks, drills, playing touch before trg, gg through fitness together and more important the great camaraderie.

28 boys doing all the shit together. getting into trouble together and helping each other out. gossiping before, during and after trg and also dinner! haha. i miss those days. we cabbed home cos we were damn tired. share our life stories with each other. being brothers at the same time giving our (5-cents-worth-of) advice. great stuff.

so now its back to the books and doing the things u dreamt of during ur campaign. what matters the most is knowing that the effort you had put in during that period paid off! (:

Friday, May 19, 2006

champions

CHAMPIONS!!!

it felt great to end off my last national schools tournament being the champs!

shall blog more about it very soon!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

photos

The cinema that became an arcade outing...




Saturday, May 13, 2006

wonderful friday and saturday

we had our last fitness (and mental) trg on friday. trg during public holiday is already a norm for us. we r used to it. and also enjoying it. yeps. the initial plan for us was to do track work. however, mr ho didnt know that there was a family day function by some outsiders. in addition, jus before trg was about to officially start, a thunderstorm came. therefore, we finally trained in the hall. fitness was more of a mental conditioning for us. did circuits and suicides for like super damn long. the only driving force that keeps u gg is the encouragements from your fellow mates and the hunger for that championships. after the pt, did a few team runs before jumping into the pool for our 2nd hydrosession. much better one.

after trg a few of us went to hav dinner at potong pasir before having a major talk cock session at macs. we talked so much about sooo many things that we didnt look after the time. by the time we saw the time it was already 9 plus.

this morning had to help coach the SAJS under- 12 boys. they had a friendly tournament organised by centarus. as they did not have enough manpower, mr tong asked me to come down n help. it was an enjoyable experience. coaching little kids how to play rugby. haha. wen u talk to them u can communicate with them too many technical terms if not they will give u the i know whats happening look but then dont understand a darn thing. the team that i coached won all our games. good performance. made little new frens too 2dae. all making plans to come sas already. thats really good. at the same time, the sajc touch rugby team was having their tournament there too. managed to get a glimpse or two wen they played.

afternoon was spent for my first love, rugby. we had trg at the home team academy, choa chu kang there. every players face looked very tired n fatigue. productive session though. got used to the ground too. 4 days to finals.

once trg ended wen it was already evening, most of the ruggers were too tired to do anything. alex, liang sheng, joel, jesse, khai nam and i had dinner at kfc near the mrt station there. initially we planned to catch a movie after we ate but then someone didnt feel like watching so we changed our plans. haha. we then wanted to jus chill n relax at the arcade and play that shooting game. BUT ended up playing para-para! its damn embarrassing lar! everyone looking at us n laughing. AND ALSO liang sheng is DAMN pro in para-para. he even has the thoughts of making it his new hobby! haha. just wen u think playing para-para is quite lame n mad, we later decided to take neoprints. haha. being first timers, we didnt know how to operate such sophisticated machine so we jus anyhow press. took about six shots and happily designed it. in the end, we ended up printing only ONE of the SIX we designed which took us ages. super idiotic lar. nevertheless, on the whole, it was something which i enjoyed today. taking a break from the things u always do n go for something really different.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

SAINTS GO MARCHING TO THE FINALS!

FINALLY after 17 long years, sajc rugby team is gg to the finals! the jinx of our team always getting 3rd for the past decade and more is finally over. ((:

CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL MATCH REPORT BY MR YEE

now its time to get back to the drawing boards and focus on winning the finals. yes. history may have been made but its not over yet. i have faith in this team gg winning the championships.

this coming wed will be the last national schools competition i will be ever playing for the blue and white stripes. i promise you it will be the best game i ever play in my life sine sec 1 cos i know i will never have the chance again to play with the some players who i have grown up with since sec 1 and now are like brothers.

today, went to watch sajc soccer team played against tpjc. first half was rather dull n sa wasnt really playing their best. but everything changed in the 2nd half. sajc soccer team stepped up their play by a few levels n sajc outplayed n outsmarted their opposition to finished the game with 3 goals n not allowing their oppo to score. congrat soccer boys for making it to the semis!
a good well done. rest assured that the rugby team will be behind you guys and prays that u will do well for ur tournament.

it goes out for the rest of the sports teams too. good luck!

after the game, went out with some of the ruggers for dinner at the airport. talked so much rubbish n nonsense. having so much fun. (:

alrites. im off to bed. long day tmr. eventhough its a hol.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

shooting

having a fellow saint shooting u in the back just pisses you off.. agree?
i feel like wanting to SMACK the fellow. but no. i shall not do such things.

2dae i met an irritating person. how do u want pple to respect you if u dont have any respect for them? wake up ur idea la!

more imptly, tmr is the semis against acjc. sa team looking well prepared. its all in god's hand. we will surely play the best game u can ever see.

ok im tired. i still need to go do some bloody work.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

tired tired khairul hilmi

this whole week (actually for the past 3 weeks) have been very tiring. time flew so fast that i dont really fell that its actually 7th may.

firday was exhausting. supposed to go for an interview with the other students leaders of the school at 3pm but had to take my malay language block test. so last minute and i hate last minutes. in the end, the school made arrangements for me to take my paper earlier and then go for the interview. paper was rather easy. interview was interesting. haha. once done, quickly rushed down for trg. then arnd 6 plus had to quickly change up because my mum was coming down to see the CT. my ct did had anything bad to say about me other my work harder for my studies. he says he admired my courage and determination. haha. by the time we finished, it was almost 8pm n had to quickly rushed back for the rugby camp.

we had major varse to kick off our 2nd rugby camp, in prep for the semis, where he thought us how to use the "flame" in our body. found it very useful. the climax of the camp came soon after. i somehow had this feeling that we r gg to do it. mr tong asked us what we want to have in a team. we gave quite alot and had to choose four only. after voting, we came up with commitment, trust, forgiveness and teamwork. soon after, the coaches came out with a sentence for us to remember. then the hard part came, we had to be blind folded and smack through to sets of tackle bags where in between was your team mates to make sure u dont go out of the way. once we reach our coach, we opened our blindfold and had to say that sentence believing in what we say and coming right from the bottom of our hearts. it was never easy esp wen u hav so little time and great amount of pressure and tension. its worth pointing out that doing this activity has made alot of us having more sense of belonging to the team.

being the capt, had to start first. took me 4 tries to get through. took arnd 2 hrs by the time we end it was 12am. i FINALLY had the time to rest since 1pm. felt so tired. further more, had a game the following day.

played centarus on sat. starting 15 played very well. good stuff.

went home n quickly cleaned up myself before meeting arthur, sherwyn, jairus and louis.

nxt week is gg to be another long one...
my whole body is starting to fail me. ahhh.....

Thursday, May 04, 2006

doing the things you love.

major varse n i were having talking that day about how wonderful life will be if we have actually pursue what we enjoy and love doing since young. that would make us really good in that area. but then how do we really know if we really so passionate bout it? we are humans. we can suddenlylose passion for one thing at the same time develop interest for another. whatever it is.. major varse and i thought that what is really impt is during that transition wen we change for the pursue our new interest, we have to fully let go of the other. u cant get the best of both worlds.

get on with life.

wed's trg was one of the most productive trg sessions. we had team runs... in the DARK. yeah. 25 boys running around the field in darkness with very little light coming from the lamp posts. good stuff. camp tmr!

life is very unpredictable. i guess mud sticks rite?
it never rains but it pours.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

disgusting!

although we won srjc rugby today by 68 points to zero, sajc once again played their worst game ever. im not trying to discriminate srjc, i believe they played rather well. giving us good hits. sajc points mostly came from individual effort and not the team effort. every department went wrong again. that is the underlying problem that we still havent found yet? i want to solve it quick so that we can play well against acjc nxt wed.

is it me?
is it him? (not reffering to any player in specific)
is it the coaches? (i strongly doubt so)
or is it jus YOU?

today's game was just horrendous. thats all i can say once again.

Monday, May 01, 2006

family and trg

hav been spending most of my time during the weekend with my family. finally. (:

2dae's trg was damn tiring la. we trained from 0830am till 1200pm. n it was all field work. morning sun n afternoon sun feel totally different. my body i think is conditioned more for trg in the afternoon like after 4pm. so wen we trained today i feel rather tired n lethargic. feel so unfit.

further more, the trg intensity was rather high. esp during team runs. finishing just wasnt there n we kept doing it over n over again till we perfected it. tempers flew arnd. but its good that all this happen during trg. at least we can correct it now rather then making such stupid mistakes in the game. imagine urself at 1130am, when the sun it like almost directly above ur heads. no clouds to cover u. u can feel urself so hot. even the mud on ur skin had dried up. yucks. n to make matters worse... ur team just couldnt finish the move. n you kept doing it over n over n over again. thats wat happened today. nevertheless, today's trg session was very productive. AND yes. sajc rugby team do train on public holidays too.

after that went for lunch with ruggers where we had a good talking cock session before gg home.

tmr will be playing against srjc @ srjc, 4.45pm. its our last group stage games before the semis next wednesday against acjc.

to my ruggers:
You can be anything u want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish- if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.

my spendings

went out with parents on sunday to do some shopping. i found two other new love. not bags but watches and choclates. heh. today bought a new swatch watch for $220, choclates which adds up to $60, new belt for $30 and wallet for $67. this does not include wat i bought on sat. come to think of it... i think i freaking spent alot of month in april alone. if im gg to type it out. i think everyone will start cursing. at least im having a gd time (: another gd thing about being a single.. u got everything for urself ((:

shopping can really drown one's sorrows and troubles. but this painkiller only works for awhile. n once it wears off. ur sure to get more pain wen u check ur pockets too. heh.

hope will spend less in may.

ok.. im off. need to get some rest cos trg is later at 8am! haha!!!