stress

argh. its really stressful. the pressure is coming from everywhere. life is not gg to be as peaceful as i thought it would be. game plans all have changed. being tracked now. no more time to play around. at least, it got me started. i really need to go dissapear somewhere. away from everything. i need the strength. i need courage. i need determination. i need God. he has always been there for me during good and bad times.


Some parts taken from Debbie Gibson's We Could Be Together

If I were an only child
I would be a lonely child
but baby we've got nothing to lose
I'm standing tall in my own shoes
I'll take this chance
I'll make this choice
I'll right this wrong
I'll raise my voice

If you said "Jump!" I'd say "How high?"
If you said "Run!"
I'd run and fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass up by
and if you ask once I'll tell you twice
I'll ignore the world's advice

I am taken by your strength
I've thought about it at great length
I thought that I was happy now
but there are things that I found out
Happiness means greater things

There are no guarantees
but if it means
there's even a possibility
then I'll give up whatever it takes
I know I've made some mistakes before
It may be just another closed door

im begining to lose the vision and beauty of appreciating things.

i think everything is bullshit- like it or not.

the world is nothing but a place where we hypocritically live in.

we are drowned by our humongous egos.

we insult others so that we can feel good and superior.

we are lousy humans. yet we think we are great.

we command respect from others but have we actually given others the respect they deserve?

we want to change things around us, but we cant even change OURSELVES.
what rights do we have then to change others?

we want to take control of things around us, but we cant CONTROL ourselves.

we live for ourselves in the name of others.

we think that we are always right- never wanting to admit our mistakes bcos we foolishy think its a sign of weakness.

we are ambitious.

we are never happy with what we have. we jus want more. greed.


these are only some of the feelings/ thoughts that lies deep in our hearts, never dared to unlock it.
if you think all of the above are nonsense, your exactly the person im referring to.

hah.

05S56 Service Learning visit to Moral Seniors Activity Centre (Macpherson)

here are some of the pictures took with my classmates and senior citizens...

shall blog about it next time. too tired.


 

 

 

 

my 3rd operation

this entry is a special one bcos im using on my right hand to type. haha.

i woke up at 0430 hrs on friday morning changing up and preparing for my operation. reached at Gleneagles Hopsital arnd 6am, after administrative details were sorted out, i was admitted. there was constant anxiety attack where my mind just ran wild scaring the shit out of myself. tried to catch up with my sleep with the remaining time left but it was obviously of not much use. the nurse came at 0720 to take me to the operating theatre. every different nurse that came to check my file kept asking me the same questions. "boy whats ur name, ic no., is this ur father's signature, his ic no. and which part of ur body is being operated." by the time the forth nurse asked me i basically answered her everything before she finished asking me. haha.

when i got into the operating room, it somehows brought back my memory of the past 2 ops i have been before. everything looked the same. just like to typical hollywood movie. all the sides of the room are painted white. huge lights shining at you. 2 clocks on ur right. and the surgeons and nurses are in a rush. it was like ur in a middle of a CBD area. people kept walking in and out, carrying things and asking each other questions like.. "where is the herbert screw for the op ltr.. i cant find it.." so u can know wat my reaction was. after lying down on the operating bed for 15 mins, i was greeted by the anesthetic doctor. after looking through my file she joking told me.. "so u know the SOP (standard operating procedure) already ah looking at ur operation records." since my left wrist was gg to be cut, they tapped my right hand vein before inserting the injection needle. soon enough, i was on anesthesia. you can feel the cold white liquid moving down ur right hand vein n at the same time breathing in pure oxygen. i tried to fight it but i failed. hah.

my worst nightmare began wen i woke up from anesthesia arnd 1030. from my past operations i know my body will react violently to the side effects of anesthesia. when i woke up the first thing i did was vomit. felt drousy, tired and sick the whole day. my stomach kept contracting, thus casuing me to vomit more then 10 times throughout the day. the last time i vomitted was 10pm. ahh. the nurses and doc helped me by injecting alot of medicine. my hands were like fun fair la. left being bandaged and was elevated. the right was used for injections. thank god, i was drowsy so i didnt really felt the needles. i didnt eat nor drink anything the whole day. wen i took a sip of water, i ended up vomitting more then consuming. plus it made my stomach worse. already my stomach has no food inside, the contractions were extremely painful. in the afternoon, weiyan chen n her fren, karina visited me in the hopsital. which made my atrocious day better! the flowers are nice! THANKS! (: the nurses ended my nightmare by putting me to sleep till the nxt day.

i woke up arnd 7 plus the next day, felt so fresh and happy that i can finally drink a cup of milo. doc came arnd 9 plus and i asked if i could go home. thankfully he said yes. i cant stand staying in the hospital for long bcos its too boring and i will be stoning on my bed most of the time.

throughout this ordeal here are a few people i want to thank for ur msgs and calls (not in any order):
weiyann seetoh
stef
mozi
gerald chew
phil
malcolm
arthur
amar
sam yee
melay unit
jia ling
qian xiang
herng liang
huilin
xiao jie
hashim
khai nam
yuan ling
qian li
alex tan
mr louis ho
karen (physio)
05S56

i hope i didnt forget anyone!

ohh. for those tat msged me n did got any or some wierd reply.. im sorry! mabye i was just too drowsy, i really didnt know wat i was replying! haha.

alrites.. my next phase.. RECOVERY!! HERE I COME!

p.s. it took me one hour to do this entry! hahaha.

afraid

tmr im finally gg to go for my wrist operation which i have been delaying since march. yeah. tat long. but i guess it kind of worth it (as stupid as it may sound) since i got what i wanted when i decided to take that high risk of playing with a fractued wrist. im also very lucky that God has protected and looked after me during this period of time.

the feeling of this operation is somewhat different than all the others i have been through. cos the ops i had so far are done immediately on the same day i saw my doc. however, this op is different. i had to delay meaning i have more time to actually think what is gg to happen to me after the op. it seriously freaks me out. thinking to myself if im gg to have a close to full recovery, whether i will be able to play as well as i am n etc etc. usually negative thoughts. this results in me panicking. i will try to be strong.

rugby season

FINALLY! i got all the photos taken were taken through out the entire year so far. frm RSN to Police Cup. wohoo. so i decided to make another collage to put up all the photos like. theres alot so bear with me. (:
















i love st andrew's rugby! 

dearest six house council

 

my wrist hurts!!! ahh. initially, i was able to take the pain but as it gets from bad to worse. its getting harder to control. now, even the slightest hyperflexion (more then 30 degrees) is painful. im living with a fractured wrist for already 6 months (feb-july) and its not getting any better but worse. whenever people ask me if it hurts, i will jus smile at them n say.. well im used to the pain. but the pain is starting to kill me meaning my condition has worsen. my doc and i have set on a date for the op which is very very soon. i dont think i can wait any longer. it has quite drastically affected my life recently. like not even being able to lift my school by left wrist. hah.

the feeling and thoughts of this operation really scares me. im not sure if im mentally prepared both for the operation and the recovery period thereafter. argh.to have a full proper recovery means i have to go through intensive physiotheraphy. need to make it back in time for national u19 which is playing in the arfu at the end of this yr. theres not only pain to handle but stress and pressure. i need to be both physically and mentally conditioned. help me please God.

momentum

i finally got into the momentum of mugging. theres so much catching up to do. ahhh. i will try not to tension too much. haha.

so my combined schools season ended last sun. this means i will officially stop playing the game till the end of As. besides, i need to get my wrist sorted out. the thought of gg for the op suddenly scares me after talking about it to a fren. i have always been living in an impression that its "just another operation" so its like nth much. aye. but after putting serious thought to it.. im quite worried. heh.

my class treasurer has once again attacked my blog to remind me to pay class fund! ur even worse then a loanshark la! haha.

alrites. off to study.

smile

someone asked me how it felt to receive two different awards. colours for rugby and service for house council on college day. after all your achievements and dedication to the school is finally being acknowledged. it didnt take me long to answer that i was happy and proud with myself like, any other person would feel. but then i continued, what really mattered the most to me that night wen i recieved my award wasnt the number of different categories of awards i had but the smile i saw on my mummy's face wen i saw her from the stage twice. it wasnt like any other smile u see everyday. you know its a special one. and tat is wat i felt overjoyed, happy and proud about. unfortunately my dad wasnt able to come as he was caught up with work, nevertheless, i still know how glad he was wen he saw the awards. i would give anything to get tat smile again from them. therefore, i have promised myself to study hard so that i will be able to bring back tat smile to my parents wen my A levels results come out next year! i love my parents so much! (:

decision

its about time i made this decision. i will stop playing rugby after nxt fri till december 2006 so that i can study and get my wrist treated. i dont want to screw up my As like i did for all my school exams so far. no more of this nonsense. i will mug. i must mug. only after As i will continue playing rugby most prob for the u19s.

on the happier note, i got 2 awards for college day. colours for rugby and service for house council! (:

my first pay

arnd 12 plus on morning morning, i decided to go for a run around my estate. which covers arnd 5-6km. since my dad just go me this new ipod arm band to run with i thought i might as well try out running with it. after hearing countless of advice from my parents on are the dos n donts when running with an ipod along the road, i finally went for my run. its quite relaxing running while listening to a song. at the same time, the tempo of the song kind of sets the pace of ur run. haha. after the run, didnt feel as tired as i used to at the same time i enjoyed myself. thought about alot of things during my run. more of academic though.

on the same day itself, i played rugby for scc later in the afternoon. thought of keep in touch with the ball since i havent touched it all during the bt2 week. and that feeling of wanting to play as much rugby as i can before my operation which will most likely take at 2 mths to recover with intensive physiotheraphy. after all its a freaking ex op plus with a wrist specialist.. i better recover fast. played a team from scotland. eventhough we got whopped by them, i think it was a gd workout for me. dinner with the scottish boys were quite hilarious. the slang was initially hard to understand but wen u get the hang of it.. hearing the comments they make will totally amuse you. haha.

TODAY! was my debut apperance in the refereeing scene. haha. the game was at evergreen sec n it took me lots of trouble, pain n money jus to get there. basically the cab driver n i were lost. he was driving arnd the estate at the same time finding. after like 10 minutes circling arnd woodlands we gave up. thank god that a police station appeared out of nowhere n yes, we took directions from them. haha. reached there, checked the field.. quite uneven and hard. so i decided not to use my boots. as expected, the 3pm game had a sun that can kill one. haha.

the game i refereed was C dic game where raffles instution played bukit batok sec. any rugby player in spore can tell u this will most likely be a one- sided game. upon hearing my appoinment to tat game, i was quite scared la. like cummon, ur first time blowing a whistle n u take charge of a team which obviously is very good in rugby with intimidating coaches. haha. but im glad that the raffles n bukit batok coaches were quite friendly. as i took charge of the game, i was being accessed by mr sumadi. raffles being the fitter and more physically built dominated the whole game beating bukit batok 84-0 in 45 mins. my accessor was very happy with my performance with very little mistakes. so thats a thumbs up. haha. hopefully, i might get another appoinment. its really fun man. i will be taking charge of the techincal (laws of the game) side during my school inter- house competition. haha. interesting.
the best part was after the game, a nice parent from raffles sent me from woodlands all the way to my house bus-stop. its really nice of him! thanks! i would do anything to get out of that ulu woodlands place la. haha.

the pay was good too i guess although im not refereeing for the money. got $40 for like 1hr 15min. haha. my first pay!

alrites. gg to try n rest as much as i can cos tmr got combined schools game, semis against spore poly. n the best part is tat they only tell u TODAY! but eh. i oso got colours award rehersal. oh shit. heh. tmr then settle i guess. to make matters worse, tonight got world cup semis. hah!

im gg to be a full time mugger now! yeah!

Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken a word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and our thoughts, as well as our success.
-George Matthew Adams

i didn't do anything much during the weekend. just stayed at home n rot. sat game was cancelled. poor planning by organisers. super pissed with them. trying to get this combined schools season over with as fast as possibe. strangely, i spent my whole sunday reading a book. haha. although, its very unlike me, i somehow enjoyed myself reading it.

one thing i notice about singaporeans is their lack of mannerism. i think this is one moral value that really needs to be worked on. most pple here are spoilt brats. they expect things to be given n served to them. very stupid. its not surprising why the number of youngsters that lack manners nowdays is vastly increasing because adults (seniors) themselves don't have such value.

take for example, i went to a shop in my estate to bind my notes n before me was this lady who was photocopying her daughthers exam papers. she gave the photocopying lady a thick stack on messy sheets of paper. soon after she left. the shop lady had to do so much work esp that night to print those stuff because her double side print function didnt work. so she had to print it manually thus taking an even longer time. i didnt bother trying to force her to hurry as i could already see she was so stressed up n rushing cos she too wanted to close her shop. when tat customer returned, the shop lady gave her all the photocopied stuff. n the customer started making noise cus bcos her notes wasnt in order. the photocopy lady (pl) told her that tat was wat the customer gave her. the customer then went to nag at her tat she shd acutally do it as part of her service. n scolded the pl. i was like what la. so rude. when she paid she slammed her money on the cashier to show her unhappiness. bloody rude.
sometimes wen i see all this pple, i have half the mind to tell them off. but better not.

theres no sch tmr n i hope i will go out. haha.

Dive Pass vs Standard Pass

Let's look at the dive pass. In order to investigate the effectiveness of the dive pass, which is primarily used by halfbacks, a small study was conducted using several first-grade halfbacks. In this study a dive pass was compared to a standard clearing pass in terms of velocity at release, time to a target 10 metres away, and accuracy. It was found that the velocity at release was essentially the same, as was time to target. Accuracy was found to be slightly less for the dive pass.

Based on these findings it would seem that the only real advantage of the dive pass is that it is more effective at avoiding oncoming defenders, due to the movement of the halfback. Therefore this seems to be more of a tactical manoeuvre than an enchancement of the pass itself.

First let's look at velocity. The primary reason for the lack of an advantage is that in a standard pass the halfback is able to sequence their body segments and transfer their momentum to the ball. In the dive pass the halfback is not able to do this as effectively bacause they are airborne, and therefore unable to sequentially stop each segment, which in turn limits the amount of transfer of momentum to the ball. To compensate for this the halfback uses the initial velocity gained from the dive to give the ball some initial velocity prior to the acutal passing motion of the arms. Time to target is therefore no different because the velocities are quite similar.

As for accuracy, we need to look at the next principle, which is an extension of principle 3 (which is apply forces (i.e. ground reaction forces) in the direction of the desired change of motion (forward, sideways, up, down, etc.))
EXTENSION OF PRINCIPLE 3:
When trying to achieve accuracy, have as many segments moving in the desired direction of the movement as possible while limiting any motion in other directions.

During the dive pass there is a much greater potential for movement out of the line of motion of the ball, due to the high unstable position the halfback is in. One thing the above principle doesn't say is that it is very important to have a solid base of support when trying to achieve accuracy. During the normal clearing pass the halfback is usually fairly low to the ground and has his legs spread wide. This is a very stable position and gives a firm base from which to direct the necessary forces on the ball. It also allows for more effective transfer of the ground reaction forces than during the during the airborne phase of the dive pass. Therefore, the dive pass can be much more effective when under pressure from opposition, while the standard pass is generally more accurate method of passing the ball.

Taken from THE PHYSICS of FOOTIE, SMART TRAINING for RUGBY.

hm... the physics side of rugby.